My Rant

Tonight i did two things that are kind of related. I watched garden state and i talked about school with my mom. If you know me, then you know that school isn't working out so well for me, and i'm having a hard time deciding what to do next year. It's not like i have no idea what to do with my life, it's the fact that at this point, there's more than one (about 5) different things i would like to do for a living, and i can't really find anything that would narrow that down to one manageable one. The idea that i'd have to do the same thing for the rest of my life bugs the hell out of me.

Then movies like garden state come in. All movies like this are based on the one event that changes the direction of a person's life forever. I wonder how many people, like myself, sit and wait for such an event, and how many people never find it. The only solace i get from the whole idea is that there's this guy who's in his mid twenties and other than one or two films that he made, he really hasn't done much with his life, yet he gets through. It is just a movie.

The thing that i find most hilarious is that all throughout elementary school i got straight a's (which isn't too hard i guess) but i was also either president or vice president of the school in 6th grade. Crazy, i know. I really can't picture myself continuing on that path my whole life though. Picture me at a nice university, doing the same shit i'm doing now, because deep inside that never was what i wanted to be.

So what to do. Next year, when i'm guessing i'll be kicked out of csu, i'm looking to go to a community college and perhaps getting some edumacation there, but only time will tell. So then what. I guess this is what the rest of the working class population does. The trashmen, the grocery workers, the punk rockers. I shouldn't be so bummed because 1. I have the power to change it, but still choose not to and 2. I never really wanted to be anything more in the first place. I guess we'll just have to see, cause i have no fuckin clue where my life is headed.