Like a Charm

As I put it so lightly to Sara: I popped my cherry. I finally gave in and bought an iPod. It needed to be done, and it's over with, so let's move on.

But getting everything set up on that almost made me forget that I was going to see a Broncos game on this cold, rainy night. Getting settled in with a little less than 3 minutes left before kickoff, I thought I might've been in over my head. I was already soaked, and cold, and the the fat man sitting next to me was wearing a moo-moo that was only funneling more rain down onto me.

Then the game started. Even though the first half of the game was probably the most boring thing anyone at home has ever seen, I was ecstatic. Whenever you get cold, you just yell and stand up and cheer and jeer and any of your worries disappear.

But the game really wasn't that bad, for a defensive struggle. With all the rain getting onto the field, there were fumbles and interceptions, and you knew that with any play, the entire game could change. And finally, the Broncos powered past the Ravens defense and put up a touchdown to ice the game, and warm up the fans.

When the clock ran out, everyone walked back into the night, still whooping and hollering, and some of them even fighting Ravens fans. It was an incredible atmosphere.

So if the rain couldn't even stop us from having a good time, what could put a damper on this night? When we get back to where we parked, we find an empty spot. We check the signs, and nowhere on the 3 different signs does it say that we couldn't park there. In fact, we seemed to have found the only time that we COULD park there. So was it towed? Was it stolen?

I called the information center that we were referred to on the signs, and while they couldn't tell us if the car was towed, they could tell us that we would have to walk about 4 miles to the middle of the boonies to check things out. We set out on foot. I don't mind the exercise, especially on a beautiful night as such, but I'd rather kinda take a cab, but we figured we'd already be paying out the ass to get the car back.

After our trek, and many, many wrong turns (we had to ask some guys at an ice cream factory!?!? where to go) we arrived at the gates of what appeared to be a maximum security prison, but in fact was the Waste Management Center. By this point, my dad is likely to burst. So he walks up the gate and when a guard opens it, mistaking it for an invitation to walk in, my dad tries to walk in. The guard gets offended by such a gesture and says "hey hey hey, don't get so pushy there!" Seriously, this jerkoff would be perfect as the asshole cops that you see in movies that blow everything out of proportion.

"I'm not pushy, I just want my car back..." my dad starts up with the cop, clearly getting pushy.

"Can we get going here, we're ready to close up" the guard's supervisor says.

So the guard raises his voice and yells back to his supervisor, but he's clearly yelling it to everyone within 100 yards of us, "I would, but this guy here is getting pushy with me."
Somehow this feels like sketch comedy.

My dad finally lets the dillhole to let him in, and then, the gate being open, I mistake that for an invitation too, so the guy gets all pissy with me because I tried to follow my dad in to get our car. So I sit out in the cold and rain, waiting for all this bullshit to get over with. After a good 20 minutes, my dad finally comes roaring out of the lot, and we get back out on the road.

Apparently, it was $100 to pay the tow company, and it was a $120 fine to the cops, which he'd have to appeal later, which we would clearly win, yet would have to go back down to Denver to do.

So while my dad was in there paying them the $100 CASH!!! to get our car back he asks, "Does this bullshit happen a lot? Does the city make a lot off of this?"
And they leave us with this gem, "Oh yeah, this could basically pay their salaries."

That's our wonderful government at work, everybody. Towing cars illegally, and then charging people up the ass to get them back, relying on the fact that everyone is too lazy or busy to challenge the ticket.