Like Butta

I am a tool.
I am clay. Mold me to your liking.
You all know those stands that pop up in the middle of the mall when Christmas starts getting near. My favorite is the sausage and cheese stand. Tonight, though, I was walking around, trying to justify my being there, other than the fact that I wanted to get an inta-juice from Meg, when this fine looking young lady with a sexy accent pulls me aside and throws one of those heating packs on my neck. Usually, I would've walked past, but I wasn't gonna stop someone from trying to "therapeutically heal" me when I had extra time on my hands. The heating pack wasn't really helping me, though, since I had my sweatshirt on, and was overheating as it was, but I saw that she also had those copper wire head scratchers. Hm... my interest is piqued.

I talk to her about how cool the scratchers are, and she goes, "Yeah, let me show you." I've seen one of them before, but I can never help getting a little turned on when someone uses that thing on me. "And it vibrates too!" She turns it on and it starts shaking my freakin' brain around, but it feels awesome!

Then it starts getting steamy. "Do you have a girl?" (Again, she had the accent and didn't speak english incredibly well.) "No, I don't." "No?" She stops and slowly gives me this smile... kinda creepy, kinda sexy. But then she snaps off the head off the scratcher and she goes "It's also a massager" So she starts massaging my back. "And if you find a girl, this is the best thing to get her excited. You can massage her back, or anything else." Then she starts massaging her knee and thigh. Good lord!

This whole time, I didn't know if she was trying to seduce me or if she really was a crazy foreign chick that didn't know what she was doing in this crazy country.

Needless to say, her sales pitch was well executed, and I ended up walking away with one of the head scratchers, after she gave me a discounted price on it. It's not often you see that kind of commitment to a customer these days, and such tactics have to be rewarded, I say. Well done. I salute you.