Not being in the States for Thanksgiving, I didn't know what kind of celebration I might be able to have. Surely I couldn't just sit at home, eating my Oodles of Noodles and watching Futurama like I always do. That's not what a true American would do, is it? Then I got an idea! An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea. I'd steal Thanksgiving from all the Whos-her-ears and Whats-his-faces up in the States-es, and bring it down under, back to my lair!
I started talking to people to see if they'd want to celebrate with me, and while I found nary an American around, I found a lot of people that wanted to support me in my cause; that which was to feed the starving college students. I told everyone to bring a dish, and gave anyone suggestions of what they could bring for a traditional Thanksgiving feast. After some planning, I got together 8 of my friends, and as the time got closer, it looked like everything would fall apart at the seams. Schedules started to conflict, people didn't know how to cook... maybe Thanksgiving would be ruined after all!
When the day rolled around, I had to plan ahead to cook my part (the turkey) for most of the day, so I could leave it in there during class, and have it be ready around 7. I had never cooked a turkey before, so I was going on a prayer that it'd work out, and when I got back from class, the turkey looked AMAZING! The skin was nice and crisp, and the inside was still a little bit juicy. Excellent.
Then people started slowly arriving, and not only did they bring the things that I asked them to, they brought more. We had so much food, we could hardly keep it on our two tables. Then people started showing up that I hadn't even invited. But we had plenty of food. Come on in everyone! After all was said and done, here's how much food we had:
12 lbs of turkey
2 lbs of ham
8 lbs of mashed potatoes with 2 liters of gravy
A gallon of various fruits
Stuffing
Vegetables
A broccoli and cheese casserole
3 pies and a cake
Ice cream
11 liters of wine
2 bottles of whiskey
A bottle of rum
30 ice cube tray jello shots
5 liters of Pepsi
2 liters of Lemonade
Somehow, we have plenty of leftovers. Of the food that is. The alcohol was all gone (not really, Mom). Maybe that's what lead to Harry cutting his hand open when he tried to grab a steak knife from Melissa. I'm not a doctor, I don't know.
So there was nothing to do after that except play Tiger Woods on the PS2 and listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers with everyone all night. The night ended with a yawn, but it was way better than I could've hoped for.
So now I'm here watching cricket, and I think I've almost got it figured out. Just don't ask me any questions about it. It doesn't quite feel right watching cricket the day after Thanksgiving, but with the Broncos dropping a big game to Kansas City, maybe it's best I wasn't around to see that.
I hope everyone else's turkey day was everything that they wanted it to be. Take care all!
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2 comments:
so, uhhhh, what kind of holidays do they got down there doof?
Well, there's Christmas, Easter, Australia Day, Anzac Day... all the usual ones. I'm still not sure what exactly Anzac Day, but every time I hear it, I can't help but think they said "Anthrax Day", maybe not so much a day where anthrax comes raining down from the heavens, but more of a day to celebrate the rise and fall of the band Anthrax.
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