Not being in the States for Thanksgiving, I didn't know what kind of celebration I might be able to have. Surely I couldn't just sit at home, eating my Oodles of Noodles and watching Futurama like I always do. That's not what a true American would do, is it? Then I got an idea! An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea. I'd steal Thanksgiving from all the Whos-her-ears and Whats-his-faces up in the States-es, and bring it down under, back to my lair!
I started talking to people to see if they'd want to celebrate with me, and while I found nary an American around, I found a lot of people that wanted to support me in my cause; that which was to feed the starving college students. I told everyone to bring a dish, and gave anyone suggestions of what they could bring for a traditional Thanksgiving feast. After some planning, I got together 8 of my friends, and as the time got closer, it looked like everything would fall apart at the seams. Schedules started to conflict, people didn't know how to cook... maybe Thanksgiving would be ruined after all!
When the day rolled around, I had to plan ahead to cook my part (the turkey) for most of the day, so I could leave it in there during class, and have it be ready around 7. I had never cooked a turkey before, so I was going on a prayer that it'd work out, and when I got back from class, the turkey looked AMAZING! The skin was nice and crisp, and the inside was still a little bit juicy. Excellent.
Then people started slowly arriving, and not only did they bring the things that I asked them to, they brought more. We had so much food, we could hardly keep it on our two tables. Then people started showing up that I hadn't even invited. But we had plenty of food. Come on in everyone! After all was said and done, here's how much food we had:
12 lbs of turkey
2 lbs of ham
8 lbs of mashed potatoes with 2 liters of gravy
A gallon of various fruits
Stuffing
Vegetables
A broccoli and cheese casserole
3 pies and a cake
Ice cream
11 liters of wine
2 bottles of whiskey
A bottle of rum
30 ice cube tray jello shots
5 liters of Pepsi
2 liters of Lemonade
Somehow, we have plenty of leftovers. Of the food that is. The alcohol was all gone (not really, Mom). Maybe that's what lead to Harry cutting his hand open when he tried to grab a steak knife from Melissa. I'm not a doctor, I don't know.
So there was nothing to do after that except play Tiger Woods on the PS2 and listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers with everyone all night. The night ended with a yawn, but it was way better than I could've hoped for.
So now I'm here watching cricket, and I think I've almost got it figured out. Just don't ask me any questions about it. It doesn't quite feel right watching cricket the day after Thanksgiving, but with the Broncos dropping a big game to Kansas City, maybe it's best I wasn't around to see that.
I hope everyone else's turkey day was everything that they wanted it to be. Take care all!
Nov 24, 2006
Nov 21, 2006
20/11/06 - The Most Feared
I almost missed the weekend. Well, I did here, but I could act like I snuck it in just before midnight on Sunday night, while you were all tucked into bed. Why was I so late? Maybe it was because I spent all weekend playing shirtless soccer under the hot Australian sun, trying my damnest to outflex Goose in Top Gun. But mostly it's because my computer has become an entertainment center around here, mostly for the fact that it has the only copies of the first 6 episodes of the 3rd season of Lost, which have been dominating everyone's lives since they first arrived here. Strange how that works.
But that's all beside the point, as I'm here this week to tell you a little bit about the wildlife around here. First off, when I first arrived here in Australia, one of the first things that was said to me was "If you go down to the beach, watch out for the brown snakes. They're in season. They're aggressive, and highly venomous." It was quite the warm welcome. Then, in the first week of classes at SAE, we had a health and safety lecture, where they warned us again about the snakes, and then added on top of that the threat of spiders. They told us about the black widows or "redbacks" as they're called here, and another kind of spider that when it bites you, it actually dissolves your skin. Super!
Luckily, I haven't seen any snakes, or poisonous spiders, thusfar, but there was one more threat that they mentioned. Everyone laughs at it the first time they hear it, but when it happens to you... Oh boy. They warn you about the magpies when they're in their mating season. Maybe you've even heard of this, or seen the silly damn hats that some people wear with eyes painted on the back of their heads, because what these demon birds do, is after you pass them, walking, or riding your bike on the road, they'll swoop down behind you and drill you in the back of your skull with their beak. The only way to stop this, is if you see them before they get to you, and you look them in the eye, then they won't attack until you look away. This also brings up the issue of people getting their eyes plucked out when they turn their heads at the last second...
So when I got here, everyone was finally getting back to their normal lives, done living in fear of these nasty creatures, because their mating season had just ended. I didn't get attacked at all, so I completely forgot about it. You know where this is going... Then earlier this week, I was riding my bike home from class with my friend Melissa, when CLICK CLICK CLICK WHAP! A magpie had swooped down behind me, and while it didn't auger its way into my brain, it clicked it's beak about 2 inches behind my head, and then hit me with its wing as it flew past. I was so confused. Surely I did something to piss him off. So I do as they say, and keep my eye on him, and I see him up on the telephone wire, but as I ride on, he hops along up there, following me the whole way!
Melissa is laughing her ass off because I'm staring this bird down, while trying not to wipe out on my bike, when I look and the bastard is coming down again. I start flailing my arms wildly at it, much like a little girl would wave cobwebs off herself. Luckily it did the trick, and it left me alone, but my dignity was sorely bruised. Perhaps that birds name was Karma, telling me that I drank too much the night before. Or maybe it was a sign that I need to watch my back, because I'm making too many enemies. But it probably just means that birds hate me. We have a history.
But that's all beside the point, as I'm here this week to tell you a little bit about the wildlife around here. First off, when I first arrived here in Australia, one of the first things that was said to me was "If you go down to the beach, watch out for the brown snakes. They're in season. They're aggressive, and highly venomous." It was quite the warm welcome. Then, in the first week of classes at SAE, we had a health and safety lecture, where they warned us again about the snakes, and then added on top of that the threat of spiders. They told us about the black widows or "redbacks" as they're called here, and another kind of spider that when it bites you, it actually dissolves your skin. Super!
Luckily, I haven't seen any snakes, or poisonous spiders, thusfar, but there was one more threat that they mentioned. Everyone laughs at it the first time they hear it, but when it happens to you... Oh boy. They warn you about the magpies when they're in their mating season. Maybe you've even heard of this, or seen the silly damn hats that some people wear with eyes painted on the back of their heads, because what these demon birds do, is after you pass them, walking, or riding your bike on the road, they'll swoop down behind you and drill you in the back of your skull with their beak. The only way to stop this, is if you see them before they get to you, and you look them in the eye, then they won't attack until you look away. This also brings up the issue of people getting their eyes plucked out when they turn their heads at the last second...
So when I got here, everyone was finally getting back to their normal lives, done living in fear of these nasty creatures, because their mating season had just ended. I didn't get attacked at all, so I completely forgot about it. You know where this is going... Then earlier this week, I was riding my bike home from class with my friend Melissa, when CLICK CLICK CLICK WHAP! A magpie had swooped down behind me, and while it didn't auger its way into my brain, it clicked it's beak about 2 inches behind my head, and then hit me with its wing as it flew past. I was so confused. Surely I did something to piss him off. So I do as they say, and keep my eye on him, and I see him up on the telephone wire, but as I ride on, he hops along up there, following me the whole way!
Melissa is laughing her ass off because I'm staring this bird down, while trying not to wipe out on my bike, when I look and the bastard is coming down again. I start flailing my arms wildly at it, much like a little girl would wave cobwebs off herself. Luckily it did the trick, and it left me alone, but my dignity was sorely bruised. Perhaps that birds name was Karma, telling me that I drank too much the night before. Or maybe it was a sign that I need to watch my back, because I'm making too many enemies. But it probably just means that birds hate me. We have a history.
Nov 13, 2006
13/11/06 - Sand in your bum
What constitutes a beach party? I'd like to say that all beach parties are like the one in The Big Lebowski with big-breasted, topless women getting launched into the air via bed sheets, but alas, not all of us can live the life of The Dude. However, there's always a number of things that you can expect at any party on the beach.
1. Fire - If you don't get a good fire going, you don't have a party. A good fire is absolutely essential to every other activity that takes place that night, as you'll see.
2. Alcohol - I don't want to sound like a total lush, but everyone enjoys a drink every once in a while. Alcohol gets the social juices flowing and slowly starts to erode your brain matter, making you more open to doing stupid things, and inevitably makes you more attractive to the opposite sex (did I get that right?). Plus, everyone knows that it contains essential vitamins and minerals that moms love.
3. A makeshift hippie band - This is composed of an acoustic guitar, a bongo, and a scraggly-faced man with a raspy singing voice. You might not always know the songs that they're playing, but neither do they. Even though they just sit there and "jam", it sets the mood for the night. Also, they are true freaks of nature, where as, long after most of the people at the party have either passed out or gone home, this mighty trio will still be sitting there, playing their slightly off-beat tunes for many hours, or even days afterwards.
4. Fire twirlers - Fire twirlers are kinda like bobsledders. No one knows how or why anyone would start doing such a thing, yet pretty much anyone could be a twirler. You could be sitting there, reading this to a fire twirler as we speak, but you might not even know about it until you go to a party on the beach. When this happens, they'll shed their outer layer of skin, which makes them less-flammable, and they'll start drinking large amounts of lighter fluid and spitting fire out of their mouths. You wouldn't know what hit you. However, they are generally mildly entertaining and opens up the conversation to threats of stabbing a flaming stick through someones sternum. It's a very natural progression.
5. The drunk kid who tries to jump over the fire - This kid gradually shows himself to be "the one" as the night goes on, and when it comes down to it, the build-up is usually a lot larger than the payoff. Odds are calculated using, fire height, height of said individual, amount of alcohol consumed... and in the end, the kid just goes and jumps over the fire like you'd expect. Not much to it, but there's always gotta be one.
6. The skinny dipper - This one is a bit of a wild card, but especially in a hippie town like Byron you'll find a large number of people that don't mind baring it all and going for a swim. That's cool, I'd even partake on certain nights, but then you get the ones that are natural nudists, and come back and "dry off" by the fire, squatting down spread eagle right behind the girl that I was talking to. Gross.
Keeping in mind a few other wild cards that could pop up on any given night, these things are basically the genetic make-up of a beach party. Do not go to beach parties if you are faint of heart, or are pregnant. Side effects may include sand in your crack, head aches, and 3rd degree burns.
1. Fire - If you don't get a good fire going, you don't have a party. A good fire is absolutely essential to every other activity that takes place that night, as you'll see.
2. Alcohol - I don't want to sound like a total lush, but everyone enjoys a drink every once in a while. Alcohol gets the social juices flowing and slowly starts to erode your brain matter, making you more open to doing stupid things, and inevitably makes you more attractive to the opposite sex (did I get that right?). Plus, everyone knows that it contains essential vitamins and minerals that moms love.
3. A makeshift hippie band - This is composed of an acoustic guitar, a bongo, and a scraggly-faced man with a raspy singing voice. You might not always know the songs that they're playing, but neither do they. Even though they just sit there and "jam", it sets the mood for the night. Also, they are true freaks of nature, where as, long after most of the people at the party have either passed out or gone home, this mighty trio will still be sitting there, playing their slightly off-beat tunes for many hours, or even days afterwards.
4. Fire twirlers - Fire twirlers are kinda like bobsledders. No one knows how or why anyone would start doing such a thing, yet pretty much anyone could be a twirler. You could be sitting there, reading this to a fire twirler as we speak, but you might not even know about it until you go to a party on the beach. When this happens, they'll shed their outer layer of skin, which makes them less-flammable, and they'll start drinking large amounts of lighter fluid and spitting fire out of their mouths. You wouldn't know what hit you. However, they are generally mildly entertaining and opens up the conversation to threats of stabbing a flaming stick through someones sternum. It's a very natural progression.
5. The drunk kid who tries to jump over the fire - This kid gradually shows himself to be "the one" as the night goes on, and when it comes down to it, the build-up is usually a lot larger than the payoff. Odds are calculated using, fire height, height of said individual, amount of alcohol consumed... and in the end, the kid just goes and jumps over the fire like you'd expect. Not much to it, but there's always gotta be one.
6. The skinny dipper - This one is a bit of a wild card, but especially in a hippie town like Byron you'll find a large number of people that don't mind baring it all and going for a swim. That's cool, I'd even partake on certain nights, but then you get the ones that are natural nudists, and come back and "dry off" by the fire, squatting down spread eagle right behind the girl that I was talking to. Gross.
Keeping in mind a few other wild cards that could pop up on any given night, these things are basically the genetic make-up of a beach party. Do not go to beach parties if you are faint of heart, or are pregnant. Side effects may include sand in your crack, head aches, and 3rd degree burns.
Nov 5, 2006
5/11/06 - Sundays
Today was the day that Byron Bay showed its true colors. The past two days have been covered by a torrential downpour, a fact that threatened to ruin my entire 4-day weekend. The days were filled by watching Lost and reading The Prestige, but today, I woke up and the skies were clear and the bullfrogs were singing sweet, sweet melodies. I knew I had to take advantage of the nice weather and head into town.
With my bike once again out of commission, I started out on foot, just planning on going to get a bite to eat at the fish taco restaurant on the near edge of town, but when traffic started backing up a kilometer outside of town, it reminded me that the traveling market was in town today. I've been regularly making my trips down to the empty fields every Thursday when they have the Farmers and Organic Produce market, where I usually get strawberries and prawns, but this is one that only comes on the first sunday of each month, and on other sundays it goes to the surrounding towns.
I liked this one a lot more. First off, the farmers market is one small row of stalls, but this one took up the entire grounds, which is probably the size of a football field. All along the outside was every kind of food you could imagine. I went the burrito, chocolate-covered strawberries, and fruit shake route, but there was also sushi, pizza, and burgers. Then in the back, there was live music and a jumpoline, and a lot of tables all shoved together under tents, making it feel a lot like Oktoberfest. Everywhere else on the grounds was filled with all the arts, crafts and Che Guevara T-shirts that you'd come to expect out of a small hippy town like Byron.
Finding my room a little bit blank and dull, I found a couple different artists that were selling prints of their work, and snatched up a couple copies to spice up my walls.
As the sun continually beat down upon my neck for the 3 hour straight, I felt that it was time I got a move on out of there. I walked back home, and crashed into the beanbag chair to write this, and as I did, the skies clouded over and it's starting to sprinkle. That's the nature of Byron in the rainy season, but I'm just glad that I got to spend some time mingling with the locals while everything was bright and cheerful.
With my bike once again out of commission, I started out on foot, just planning on going to get a bite to eat at the fish taco restaurant on the near edge of town, but when traffic started backing up a kilometer outside of town, it reminded me that the traveling market was in town today. I've been regularly making my trips down to the empty fields every Thursday when they have the Farmers and Organic Produce market, where I usually get strawberries and prawns, but this is one that only comes on the first sunday of each month, and on other sundays it goes to the surrounding towns.
I liked this one a lot more. First off, the farmers market is one small row of stalls, but this one took up the entire grounds, which is probably the size of a football field. All along the outside was every kind of food you could imagine. I went the burrito, chocolate-covered strawberries, and fruit shake route, but there was also sushi, pizza, and burgers. Then in the back, there was live music and a jumpoline, and a lot of tables all shoved together under tents, making it feel a lot like Oktoberfest. Everywhere else on the grounds was filled with all the arts, crafts and Che Guevara T-shirts that you'd come to expect out of a small hippy town like Byron.
Finding my room a little bit blank and dull, I found a couple different artists that were selling prints of their work, and snatched up a couple copies to spice up my walls.
As the sun continually beat down upon my neck for the 3 hour straight, I felt that it was time I got a move on out of there. I walked back home, and crashed into the beanbag chair to write this, and as I did, the skies clouded over and it's starting to sprinkle. That's the nature of Byron in the rainy season, but I'm just glad that I got to spend some time mingling with the locals while everything was bright and cheerful.
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