Good news: I got tickets for the Broncos monday night game against the Ravens. They're in the nosebleeds, but the lower region of the nosebleeds at the goalline. Not too bad.
Better news: I have two more days of work left. I'm ready to get out, too. The town is killing me and once again, Mr. Conspiracy Theory (CT from now on) keeps managing to auger his way into my psyche more and more each day. The main thing is that he refuses to be wrong. And so do I. So there's a lot of debating.
Today we were talking about reading and school and I mentioned about how books like Harry Potter are good for young kids because it lets them know that 800 page books aren't always daunting, and it introduces some kids to loyalty, imagination, and a world without television.
Then he comes back with the ol' "Yeah, but it teaches kids witchcraft" rebuttal. And we all know where that led us to.
It's just been a long week. I'm ready to see all of my friends at my going away party!
Sep 28, 2006
Sep 27, 2006
The police found a body with no brains, fucked up teeth and a retarded face. I was worried. Give me a call.
As I've written before, I work with a conspiracy theorist (don't call him that or else he'll accuse you of being like 99.9% of the rest americans who "can't handle the truth") but some of the thigns he's saying now are bugging the hell out of me.
There's the things about 9/11 being an inside job and the towers falling was the result of a controlled demolition, which I believe to be true, also, but then there's the things like "in the upper corner of the dollar bill, you'll see an owl. That's moolah, that's the god that they worship" which I don't know if it's a joke or what the fuck it is.
But the thing that really sent me over the edge was when he was telling the three of us who are college-aged, that there's no point in being in college anymore. I myself have said that numerous times, but I meant it in the "you can do OK without it, you can work your way up if you want to" way and he meant it in the "your college skills will do you no good when the end comes" sort of way. I didn't buy into it, and another kid has already dropped out of college, but the third kid is just starting his freshman year and is buying into the things that this guy says way too much for his own good.
It just seems ridiculous to me that this grown man spends his waking life talking about these things, which he declares are "documented and accurate", when it's something to have at the back of your mind at the most. There's a difference between trying to prevent something from happening and trying to be prepared for it. He's trying to prevent it, but really, he's not doing a goddamn thing about it besides freaking out.
There's the things about 9/11 being an inside job and the towers falling was the result of a controlled demolition, which I believe to be true, also, but then there's the things like "in the upper corner of the dollar bill, you'll see an owl. That's moolah, that's the god that they worship" which I don't know if it's a joke or what the fuck it is.
But the thing that really sent me over the edge was when he was telling the three of us who are college-aged, that there's no point in being in college anymore. I myself have said that numerous times, but I meant it in the "you can do OK without it, you can work your way up if you want to" way and he meant it in the "your college skills will do you no good when the end comes" sort of way. I didn't buy into it, and another kid has already dropped out of college, but the third kid is just starting his freshman year and is buying into the things that this guy says way too much for his own good.
It just seems ridiculous to me that this grown man spends his waking life talking about these things, which he declares are "documented and accurate", when it's something to have at the back of your mind at the most. There's a difference between trying to prevent something from happening and trying to be prepared for it. He's trying to prevent it, but really, he's not doing a goddamn thing about it besides freaking out.
Sep 25, 2006
Might make a good band name
When my family goes up to Mount Vernon about once a year, we can always expect a few things: good food, a great view and fun for the whole family. Now we've got something else to add to the list: FLAMING CARS!!!! As we were pulling up to the entrance to the country club, there was a lot of smoke coming from up by the doors and as I look closer, I see flames bursting from underneath the hood of a classic Cadillac! Before we could even see what was going on more, these fire engines come screaming up the driveway. So the valet boys casually show us to the back door, even though 2 minutes later they start talking about evacuating the building. What a mess!
But everything turned out fine in the end and no two people were on fire. Eventually, we got all those other things that we expected out of such a trip. Mmmm Mmmm.
But everything turned out fine in the end and no two people were on fire. Eventually, we got all those other things that we expected out of such a trip. Mmmm Mmmm.
Sep 18, 2006
The Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out
I don't know who's the trouble. Not long at all after Craig and Matt's outstanding "I don't like you" story, we've all got another one to hang on our shelves with pride.
After a LONG day of watching college football action, even though i was wearing thin for the night, we got a call of a party up by the stadium. Everything sounded good. And it was. We knew a good deal of people there and everyone was in a peppy mood from the second we arrived. Maybe it was the Southern Comfort that we downed first thing, and maybe it was the infinite jokes that came from the fact that we had to drink our beer from coffee mugs. But everyone was having a good time, especially the guy who was cradling the Crown Royal the entire night, even after he had downed the entire bottle, and was too hammered to walk without assistance from the wall.
If we had stayed away from the beer pong, everything would've been fine, but there was two douchebags down there that were running the table and talking shit like you wouldn't believe. I don't care that they beat us from behind but even halfway through the game, things started escalating and i knew it wouldn't be long before the mud slinging would turn south.
Drew, from the dorms two years ago, was the one that eventually started it all after a couple of cups of beer started flying across the table, then the kids did the same. With everyone there, they tried to hold them back while we got Drew out of the house, and it worked out OK. Sara, who lived at the house, told the guys to leave, but they were still furious, and were trying to get after everyone who had been talking shit to them the entire night (everyone except their girlfriends, who were passed out on the beer-strewn pong table).
As we keep them away from everyone and work them up the stairs and out the door, one of the little fuckers stares me in the eye and yells "You were talking shit, too!" Yeah? And? So he bum rushes me up the stairs and tried to get me in a choke hold. I might've preferred that, because instead, he missed and got his arm around my face, and started pulling my head sideways. With his arms in my sight and my head cocked sideways, I didn't want to start throwing punches at someone I couldn't see incase I hit someone who was trying to help me. However, I did see the kid try to knee me in the face, and then I was disoriented when a punch caught me in the forehead.
Finally, whoever was trying to hold off these kids got them away and started to push them out the door. I walked away into the kitchen, fuming and paced off the steps as I saw them get pushed off into the night. I was a half step away from going after them again, but again, I didn't want to make things worse, when they were finally getting resolved. Fuck.
I didn't really get hurt much, but i still feel as if i got my ass kicked just because i couldn't retaliate the way I wanted. I'm not worried about it though. It just goes to show what 12 straight games of beer pong can do to a person.
After a LONG day of watching college football action, even though i was wearing thin for the night, we got a call of a party up by the stadium. Everything sounded good. And it was. We knew a good deal of people there and everyone was in a peppy mood from the second we arrived. Maybe it was the Southern Comfort that we downed first thing, and maybe it was the infinite jokes that came from the fact that we had to drink our beer from coffee mugs. But everyone was having a good time, especially the guy who was cradling the Crown Royal the entire night, even after he had downed the entire bottle, and was too hammered to walk without assistance from the wall.
If we had stayed away from the beer pong, everything would've been fine, but there was two douchebags down there that were running the table and talking shit like you wouldn't believe. I don't care that they beat us from behind but even halfway through the game, things started escalating and i knew it wouldn't be long before the mud slinging would turn south.
Drew, from the dorms two years ago, was the one that eventually started it all after a couple of cups of beer started flying across the table, then the kids did the same. With everyone there, they tried to hold them back while we got Drew out of the house, and it worked out OK. Sara, who lived at the house, told the guys to leave, but they were still furious, and were trying to get after everyone who had been talking shit to them the entire night (everyone except their girlfriends, who were passed out on the beer-strewn pong table).
As we keep them away from everyone and work them up the stairs and out the door, one of the little fuckers stares me in the eye and yells "You were talking shit, too!" Yeah? And? So he bum rushes me up the stairs and tried to get me in a choke hold. I might've preferred that, because instead, he missed and got his arm around my face, and started pulling my head sideways. With his arms in my sight and my head cocked sideways, I didn't want to start throwing punches at someone I couldn't see incase I hit someone who was trying to help me. However, I did see the kid try to knee me in the face, and then I was disoriented when a punch caught me in the forehead.
Finally, whoever was trying to hold off these kids got them away and started to push them out the door. I walked away into the kitchen, fuming and paced off the steps as I saw them get pushed off into the night. I was a half step away from going after them again, but again, I didn't want to make things worse, when they were finally getting resolved. Fuck.
I didn't really get hurt much, but i still feel as if i got my ass kicked just because i couldn't retaliate the way I wanted. I'm not worried about it though. It just goes to show what 12 straight games of beer pong can do to a person.
Bar Bums
It had been a long day. I worked, played nine, fought through a thunderstorm and was thoroughly blazed. I started making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and was content with sitting on the couch watching Kill Bill all night on TNT. The weed kicked in and the peanut butter and jelly wasn’t cutting it. I needed some nutrition.
Since I knew Dave would be at the Pot Belly, I thought I’d go there and chat while he drank, and get some good grub. I walk in and Dave is already talking to a lady. He’s been here 20 minutes, maybe. She’s an older woman. She’s got the wrinkles that say she’s over the hill, but her skin and body is still healthy. I want to let them talk so I sit on the other side of the woman until they might finish. As I’m ordering the woman swivels around and starts talking to me. She’s immediately interesting. That might not be saying much since everyone up here has their own quirks, but as I was ready for a quiet night, she pulls me out of my daze with her first sentence and she’s off. She talks and talks, and even though at some points I struggled to get a few words in, it was a great mutual conversation that I haven’t gotten up here before. She talks about how she works at Shambhala and the music she likes and the books that she reads. It’s all basic stuff, but when a 20 year old can make these connections instantly with a 50+ year old, that’s something. So we talk. She tells me about how her dad died, but they weren’t done with him yet, so they “borrowed” him from the mortuary. They throw him (in the casket) in the back of their truck and take him back to their house and open the casket. They light candles and talk to him and have a wake. OK, so that was kind of creepy, but it was also cool. Then she asks me about if I’ve been in love, my relationship with my family, what I think about kids, people, society… and everything that I say isn’t judged but she stares at me with awe as I tell her about these simple things in my life, but she makes me look at them again and lets me know that it’s right and that I’m fine.
When everyone else has cleared the bar except us two and the bartender, he starts putting on music DVDs of all sorts. He shows off his $18,000 sounds system and it blows us away. He tells us about how the speakers are made and how they’re used in studios and everything he’s saying is suddenly becoming very relevant to my future, and it doesn’t seem so bad at all. Any doubts that I had about my future at all slowly faded as he cranks up the crystal clear sound. It suddenly seemed like the exact perfect thing that I should be doing.
It amazes me how at the most unlikely times, someone who most of the time you’d hardly give a second thought to, can validate your life. Your past, your present and your future. A single-serving savior.
Sep 13, 2006
Blah!
When any of you makes me dinner and I say "It can't be any worse than what I have at work", I really, really mean that. There's the meals that get you excited, like yesterday's ribs, but even those were burnt to a crisp, but then there's the meals like today. After the ribs, we were all optimistic about the future, but today wiped the smiles off our faces.
I believe it was supposed to be some sort of Thanksgiving dinner (possibly inspired by a recipe they got from a homeless shelter) because it had the turkey and the stuffing. However, the stuffing was a bunch of bread crumbs, soaked in water to make them maleable, then mashed in with dry, stale shredded turkey to make a sort of casserole. It was the first meal there (or even in my entire life) that has made me physically sick after eating it.
Then they even had peach cobbler and ice cream cake for dessert, but I couldn't even get into it because I started to feel nauxeous. This coming from a person who's eaten worms, dog, and horse penis (from my short stint on Fear Factor).
So I might not be good at articulating how much I love all of your food, but please don't get offended when I say "I've had worse."
I believe it was supposed to be some sort of Thanksgiving dinner (possibly inspired by a recipe they got from a homeless shelter) because it had the turkey and the stuffing. However, the stuffing was a bunch of bread crumbs, soaked in water to make them maleable, then mashed in with dry, stale shredded turkey to make a sort of casserole. It was the first meal there (or even in my entire life) that has made me physically sick after eating it.
Then they even had peach cobbler and ice cream cake for dessert, but I couldn't even get into it because I started to feel nauxeous. This coming from a person who's eaten worms, dog, and horse penis (from my short stint on Fear Factor).
So I might not be good at articulating how much I love all of your food, but please don't get offended when I say "I've had worse."
Sep 8, 2006
One MIIIILLLLION Dollars!
Did you ever see The Million Dollar Man? The one where the guy gets the surgery and the doctor drops a million dollar bill in the incision, and then everyone beats his ass to try to get the money. That doesn't really feel like me, thank god, but I have had so much work on me these past couple weeks to get ready for Australia, that I feel like a million dollars worth of work have gone into me. And there's more to come.
The worst part was today when I went to the dentist. I don't usually mind the visits, since I like the way my teeth hurt when I'm done, but I didn't like today when they were telling me that I need more fillings. Even the fillings aren't that bad, I've gotten my last couple without any pain killers, so I don't have to worry about a numb mouth for the rest of the day, but the new ones are going to go over the ones that I had already gotten. Aren't those suppsoed to be permanent? Or did they just do a shitty job the first time?
Then they tried telling me that my teeth were decaying and my gums were rotting or something like that. That's exactly what they said to my brother and sister, but my brothers gums were bad because he was brushing TOO MUCH and my sisters teeth were bad because she was drinking too much orange juice at the time. Seriously... is there nothing good in the world anymore? I don't see how brushing your teeth too much is going to destroy your gums any more than when they go in there and tear your mouth apart with their spear. Then they tell you to brush up and down, to work in your gums.
They wouldn't call them quacks if they weren't full of shit.
The worst part was today when I went to the dentist. I don't usually mind the visits, since I like the way my teeth hurt when I'm done, but I didn't like today when they were telling me that I need more fillings. Even the fillings aren't that bad, I've gotten my last couple without any pain killers, so I don't have to worry about a numb mouth for the rest of the day, but the new ones are going to go over the ones that I had already gotten. Aren't those suppsoed to be permanent? Or did they just do a shitty job the first time?
Then they tried telling me that my teeth were decaying and my gums were rotting or something like that. That's exactly what they said to my brother and sister, but my brothers gums were bad because he was brushing TOO MUCH and my sisters teeth were bad because she was drinking too much orange juice at the time. Seriously... is there nothing good in the world anymore? I don't see how brushing your teeth too much is going to destroy your gums any more than when they go in there and tear your mouth apart with their spear. Then they tell you to brush up and down, to work in your gums.
They wouldn't call them quacks if they weren't full of shit.
Sep 6, 2006
My eyes burn!!!!
1st. I think my stolen internet at red feather is gone for good. I'll now be limited to trips home and trips to the library.
2nd. I think i have a bone fragment floating around in my back. I broke my tailbone a couple years ago and every once in a while i get really bad back pains without doing anything. But maybe i'm just being dramatic and the real cause is i'm over-exerting myself while trying to SIT AND BE FIT.
3rd. The wonder is gone. It seems like no one believes in magic or ghosts or aliens anymore, yet millions of people can put their belief in God. I've seen evidence of all of these, but it seems now that a belief in any of them is becoming increasingly frowned upon in most of society, including God.
Because we have nothing to compare our own existence to, anything is possible.
2nd. I think i have a bone fragment floating around in my back. I broke my tailbone a couple years ago and every once in a while i get really bad back pains without doing anything. But maybe i'm just being dramatic and the real cause is i'm over-exerting myself while trying to SIT AND BE FIT.
3rd. The wonder is gone. It seems like no one believes in magic or ghosts or aliens anymore, yet millions of people can put their belief in God. I've seen evidence of all of these, but it seems now that a belief in any of them is becoming increasingly frowned upon in most of society, including God.
Because we have nothing to compare our own existence to, anything is possible.
Sep 2, 2006
*Cough*
I'm now all set to go for Australia. I've got everything sent in and now I just need my visa and then I'll be ready to blast off. The final step in the process was yesterday when I had to go down to Denver to get a physical and a chest x-ray, supposedly to make sure that there aren't any aliens bursting free from my chest while in Australia.
My physical was in a really nice building which was strangely placed right next to some sort of Air Force base. It turns out that I have 20/15 vision, which they said is one line away from having x-ray vision. Also, I don't have testicular cancer. The nice lady even explained to me how to check myself. Apparently guys are supposed to check every month just like women check for breast cancer, and she said that scratching myself everyday doesn't always do the trick. I had to ask that one specifically. Then, after much bitching and moaning, they were nice enough to let my keep my smock that I wore, so I can dress up as a loonie for Halloween with my bareass hanging out the back.
The chest x-ray really didn't turn out to be that bad, either. It was just weird. I thought that an x-ray was supposed to take a 2-dimensional picture of your bones, but instead they tried to flatten me against this wall so the x-ray wouldn't have to do all the work. I had to keep my chest, stomach and shoulders all flat against the wall, and after they took the first one, the lady asks "Does your chest hurt? Any shortness of breath?" I said "No" and she gives me this look like "Oh, you just wait." So she kept having me squash myself up there, and if I didn't have anything wrong after the first one, I'm sure I did after the last one.
Overall, it was all worth it, just to get me set up to leave in October.
I guess my next challenge may be this blind date that my dad is trying to set me up on...
My physical was in a really nice building which was strangely placed right next to some sort of Air Force base. It turns out that I have 20/15 vision, which they said is one line away from having x-ray vision. Also, I don't have testicular cancer. The nice lady even explained to me how to check myself. Apparently guys are supposed to check every month just like women check for breast cancer, and she said that scratching myself everyday doesn't always do the trick. I had to ask that one specifically. Then, after much bitching and moaning, they were nice enough to let my keep my smock that I wore, so I can dress up as a loonie for Halloween with my bareass hanging out the back.
The chest x-ray really didn't turn out to be that bad, either. It was just weird. I thought that an x-ray was supposed to take a 2-dimensional picture of your bones, but instead they tried to flatten me against this wall so the x-ray wouldn't have to do all the work. I had to keep my chest, stomach and shoulders all flat against the wall, and after they took the first one, the lady asks "Does your chest hurt? Any shortness of breath?" I said "No" and she gives me this look like "Oh, you just wait." So she kept having me squash myself up there, and if I didn't have anything wrong after the first one, I'm sure I did after the last one.
Overall, it was all worth it, just to get me set up to leave in October.
I guess my next challenge may be this blind date that my dad is trying to set me up on...
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