I'm now all set to go for Australia. I've got everything sent in and now I just need my visa and then I'll be ready to blast off. The final step in the process was yesterday when I had to go down to Denver to get a physical and a chest x-ray, supposedly to make sure that there aren't any aliens bursting free from my chest while in Australia.
My physical was in a really nice building which was strangely placed right next to some sort of Air Force base. It turns out that I have 20/15 vision, which they said is one line away from having x-ray vision. Also, I don't have testicular cancer. The nice lady even explained to me how to check myself. Apparently guys are supposed to check every month just like women check for breast cancer, and she said that scratching myself everyday doesn't always do the trick. I had to ask that one specifically. Then, after much bitching and moaning, they were nice enough to let my keep my smock that I wore, so I can dress up as a loonie for Halloween with my bareass hanging out the back.
The chest x-ray really didn't turn out to be that bad, either. It was just weird. I thought that an x-ray was supposed to take a 2-dimensional picture of your bones, but instead they tried to flatten me against this wall so the x-ray wouldn't have to do all the work. I had to keep my chest, stomach and shoulders all flat against the wall, and after they took the first one, the lady asks "Does your chest hurt? Any shortness of breath?" I said "No" and she gives me this look like "Oh, you just wait." So she kept having me squash myself up there, and if I didn't have anything wrong after the first one, I'm sure I did after the last one.
Overall, it was all worth it, just to get me set up to leave in October.
I guess my next challenge may be this blind date that my dad is trying to set me up on...
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2 comments:
It´s good to see a few new entries in this dusty ol´ blog. But these entries also bring up questions:
-Who the hell is this blind date, and is she hot, and if she is, why didn´t dad ever set me up on one?
-Did you also know I have 15/20 vision? Mine actually has gotten better as I age. Must run in the family. Squint hard enough, and you´ll shoot a thin laser.
-Why are medical people so uptight? Glad they let you keep the smock. They weren´t gonna hear of me leaving the health center with my EKG stickers on my chest, either. But I finally convinced them and got a good picture of it. I guess that´s not a question.
Good questions. To answer the blind date question, i might have to wait until i actually see her. Dad says she's really cute. But he's also not really setting it up. He just got her phone number and handed it to me, and left me to ponder how the hell i should go about the whole thing.
Do you have 15/20 or 20/15? I think 20/15 is better than average and 15/20 is worse. I could be wrong though. I attribute my good vision to the fact that I read in the dark, since mr. conspiracy theorist that i work with says that the eye is a muscle just like any other, that you can work out to make it stronger. That may be bullshit, but i like to think it's true since mom always tried to stop me from doing that.
Also, yeah... that's laser's cool.
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