Fun-do

Last year, my family made it a tradition to have fondue for dinner on Christmas Eve, and so tonight, we had our second annual Sitzman Fondue Bash. It was really good. We had meats, fruits and breads to cook and then dip in cheese or chocolate and whatnot. Even though we didn't have enough fuel for the burners, and had to use candles, everything still went well, and it was especially fun after we started doing "dare dips". You could use up to two solids, dipped into up to two fondues, and then covered in one sauce. It actually kind of evolved as it went, and i got to go last, so naturally, i got the worst one. My sister made me do a beef and marshmallow sandwich, cooked in the oil, then dipped in the cheese sauce, and then covered with A-1. Yummy in my tummy. As long as you keep chewing, you basically never get the bad tastes mixed together, and the cheese kinda tied everything together. So i give it a solid B. Try your own combinations at home during your next fondue party.

Have a good Christmas everyone.

Learning to smile

Alright, if you're not ready for a bunch of sentimental bullshit, then you can just go on without reading this, cause well, i'm a sentimental guy. And i feel the need to write sentimental bullshit. But recently, most people have been saying that i'm a downright grumpy motherfucker, and for the whole part, they're right. I really try to be happy. I do everything from taking naps to drinking green tea, and working out to release all those bad endorphines or whatever might make you mad. But I think i found the root of the problem recently.

My ex, lori, is back in town again. Now, I don't talk about her a whole lot to you folk, but just recently i found out that she's kind of engaged. Not fully, just kinda. As in, in the works. Now... this really bothers me because, so you get the full story, back when we broke up, we didn't break up because we were mad at each other or anything, but because she was going into the marines. The stupid thing is that when we broke up, it was at the point where we said "alright, it's kind of at the point where we break up and see what happens when we go our separate ways, or we get married." Still being in high school, it's a little bit hard to even take yourself seriously when you say that, even though i was totally ready to do the latter, but i just didn't have the means or the edge on the situation.

So, as you know, she took off to the marines. I didn't like the choice, since i mostly hate the military, but i knew that if that's what she wanted to do, then that was that. But then i realized that for the most part, not really having closure on the whole situation with her really fucked up most of my other realtionships with girls, and mostly left me sad because i'd also lost one of my best friends. It's not to say i never talked to her, or tried to get her back, but because of just some shitty luck and all, there was several times where i was basically right next to her, but never got to see her.

Then i heard about this boy she was dating, and i didn't think too much of it, since i knew they would be moved to different camps and whatnot, but when he ended up flying across the country to see her, i tried doing the same when i was in california to make one last stand, but never got to see her because shit just went wrong again. And now that she's home again, it's hard for me to not try to get back what we had before, because it's affected me so much for so long. With the latest news, i've basically just been feeling morose that i couldn't do more now, and that i couldn't do more to keep her here back when we were together.

A wise guy once said that it takes just as long to get over a relationship, as it took for the realtionship to... take place or something like that, so i could either wait longer, or take this chance now that she's home to get some kind of closure in the relationship, whatever kind it may be, once and for all. I just have to find a reason for me to stop liking her. And her getting engaged is a poor excuse.

Notice

For all you Dane Cook fans:

For all of you who've seen the movie Mystery Men, I'm guessing it's probably been a while, so check back and you'll be able to see Dane Cook's cameo as The Waffler. You'll probably remember what I'm talking about. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, it's pretty hilarious anyways.

Dreaming! Dream on...

I love sleep, and I love dreams. They're amazing. A long time back, I remember I had this series of dreams from different nights, where my friends and I went cliff diving into a river. Once we tried one, we'd go to the next cliff and jump off that. It was a really good time, obviously, and we're lucky on one died. We'd hit the bottom of the river everytime we jumped in, but it never hurt, we'd just jump back out and do it again.

So last night, I had this dream, where in a large group, a bunch of us were running around in the wilderness playing capture the flag, when I look over and I see a river. Then I go, Hey! This look familiar. So I walk down the shore and look up and there's the same cliffs that we had jumped off in my dreams a long time ago. Everything was the exact same, and the geography was still how it should've been, even though I was looking at it from a different angle, and walking around where I hadn't been before. It was just pretty cool. It's almost like taking a vacation again. And no... it wasn't the cliffs what we jumped off of in Mexico.

Problems on the whole front

Why does bad stuff happen to good people? Now that I'm working with the general public, i see more and more that this really is the case. The world is set up so the only way you can get to the top is to backstab your way there. It's been known for a long time, i'm not really trying to bring new things to light. The jackasses that come into work with the "the customer is always right" are the ones that make our lives a living hell, but they're always the ones that somehow get the better end of the deal at the end of the day. Then the people that are nice, and pay what we ask, and chat it up with us and tip and all, really come out worse, financially at least. And since money rules the world.... Now, i'd like so much to change this, but again, just the fact that the customer has the advantage of being able to give a bad report to the boss, we have to stay in line and bend over every once in a while. I hate it.

Now, i'm not saying i'm the good person that bad stuff happens to, like i said before, but it's the customers.

Also, the way i grew up, it wasn't sheltered, but my parents aren't divorced, and everything just sorta worked out, i guess. Recently, i've seen more how weird the world is, and how quickly shit happens, and how quickly someone can be gone. About a week ago, my mom told me that their neighbors, who i've lived next to my whole life got a divorce. They'd been married for 32 years, and they just kinda did it, i guess. I always had a good relationship with the dad, who'll probably still live there now, but the mom and the kids will probably be gone indefinitely. That sucks because the son is my godfather, which these days doesn't mean much, but he was always a good friend, and it's stupid that i might not see him because of some weird differences after 32 years.

What's more, Barry, the guy who i worked with for a lot of this summer at my dad's kennel died early this morning. They're not really sure why, they think maybe an accidental overdose on painkillers, or maybe a heart attack, but it was pretty unexpected since he was still pretty young. I also got to know him more when i played poker with him and his brother and friends this summer, and they kind of developed into my adult friends, so it sucks that he's gone.

Well, that's probably enough downer shit for tonight. I hope everything's going well in everyone's lives, especially with finals and christmas coming up. Ooh, and we got some good snow falling last night, if you were up at 4 in the morning like i was. It was amazing. Laters.

World AIDS Day

Spread it.

A couple short stories

So it's been a while since I rapped at you guys, as brought to my attention by meg, so I'll just rapid fire through some of the better stories that i've come across in the past few weeks.

First, there was the guy at alley cats that tried hustling me at chess for a cup of coffee. He could've been a lot more subtle about it all since i could tell the moment he sat down that he was actually really good at chess. And no, i didn't bite.

Next, my mom won a family membership to the fort collins club for three months, so i've been going there a lot, and i have to say, i don't mind if guys are naked in the locker room, it's easy enough to avoid them, but then there's some guys who really, uh... as they say... put the penis on a pedestal. These guys seem to go out of their way being naked. They'll get out of the sauna or something... go get a drink... comb their hair... sing and dance in the hallway, all before they put a towel on. Come on guys. Does it take that long, or take too much effort to just put on a towel like the rest of us... geez.

Then, we had some adventures in cooking last night. Edward and i. I was looking through my chinese cookbook, and i was gonna make some orange chicken or something, but then edward suggested eggrolls, so we went and got all the shit and put it together from scratch, and then it came to frying them. It said that oil was supposed to be at 375, so i didn't know how that translated into the low-high scale, so i just tried high. It worked out ok... it cooked them faster than the human torch could, but it took us a few eggrolls to figure that all out. Once we got a hang of it, they turned out really freaking well. That is until i spilled a bunch of the oil on the burner and started a fire, then set off the smoke alarms. The smoke was really bad, and the smell was even worse, but we got most of it cleared out.

So what did we do with the eggrolls that were bad? We chucked them at the dumpster from our balcony of course! No one made it in, but i did nail the car right next to it. Booyah!

After everything settled down, matt and i went over to blockbuster to get a movie. Now the back story is... we used edwards xbox to watch movies in the living room before he took it back to l.a. over break, and there just so happened to be a movie that i had rented in the disc drive when he took it. So when we went over to blockbuster, even though there's no late fees, i didn't want to rent on my account so they wouldn't see. Matt tried giving his phone number and everything, but the guy ended up saying that he should just start a new account. To save him from the paper work, i just go hand my card to the guy and say "oh, i forgot i had this, it's been a while." I was just trying to keep it cool, but then he says "yeah, it looks like you've been here in the past two weeks." "yeah....." No more cool. He didn't say anything about the movie at least, but it still kinda burst my bubble bobble.

I've Gotten Used To It

I don't know how many of you read the Collegian, but if you do, you probably noticed the full page article on the people that are trying to open a hookah bar in Fort Collins. I swear, every time I think, someone is watching me. I can't do anything without someone stealing my ideas. Of course, the article was about them maybe not being able to open because the city won't let them, but still. This, my friends, is why I sit on my ass a lot. No one would want to copy me then. Right?

Some set writers

What a fun day! Since I didn't have work or school, I went to Mervyn's in the mall cause I'd seen that they were closing and were having a big sale. It was disappointing when I got there, though. Most of the stuff was 25% off tops. I almost never buy clothes there, and when I looked I remembered why. I almost felt like I was in a thrift store. I hate the style of their clothes. You might like it, though, so I'll stop. After that, I got a half pound of gummy worms, and then went to the arcade to spend some of my change. First of all, I noticed that the name of it had changed again, and when I walked in, everything still seemed pretty lame, but then I looked at some of the games. Holy shit!

They had the original arcade version of Sunsetriders. Now, this might not excite most of you, but Mitch, I gotta say, it was awesome. Horseback levels and everything. We gotta go play that during Thanksgiving break. Then I saw the line of probably about 10 different pinball machines. I tried out the monster bash one, and I was amazed that I had forgotten about these machines, like most of the population. It was outstanding. I got it going with three different balls at once and everything. Wow. I was so happy to see some of those classic games. Then I even played Silent Scope, which is also becoming one of my favorite games, after I "tested it for quality" one day at work.

After that, I went frisbee golfing and then to Super Wal-mart to get my pictures developed. My god, I'm such a terrible photographer. Most of the pictures were taken in the dark and when I was drunk, but even some of the ones that I took when I wasn't drunk were really off center and crappy looking. Meh, I'm not gonna be a photographer when I grow up anyways.

R.I.P.PED to shreds

The call came early in the morning. 8:33 to be exact. That's early to me. The call sounded urgent, so I knew I had to get to Henry first. I called him up, and like me, he still sounded only half awake. God this job is a drag. I told Henry to pack up his shit and get ready to go. I'd pick him up in 7 minutes.

The call came from a nice little lady over at Prospect and Shields. Something was in her house and she wanted it out. That's when people come to us. We exterminate. Henry and I rolled up and grabbed out shit out of the back of the truck. We knocked on the door, but there was no reply. We tried again, then came a cry of help from inside. The door was unlocked so we let ourselves in. The place was quiet. The lady that had called and her lesbian partner were cuddled up on the counter, embracing each other. Their nightgowns were ripped in a suggestive manner, almost falling off their bodies.

"Thank you so much for coming, I'm the one that called. I'm Me..."
"No time for introductions," I said, "We got some vermin to kill."

We headed towards the back of the apartment, and found out rather quickly where it... whatever it was... was hiding. The closet door was smashed in around the bottom, a hole left where it had slammed through the door, trying desperately to escape the lady... whatever her name was... and her broom of death. So we knew that it was scared, but it might also be back there, like a cobra, ready to strike at whatever came after it.

Henry opened up his pack and pulled out some blankets, and started sealing off the hallway; we were trapping ourselves in with it. Meanwhile, I started taking measurments of the hole in the door, trying to figure out just what the hell we were dealing with. When the preperations were complete, we readied ourselves with our baseball bats of justice, and pulled the closet door open. It was small, and most likely supposed to be used for a washer and dryer combo, though these were nowhere to be found. God I hope those dikes wash their clothes somehow. Instead, the closet was full of boxes, piled full of leftover junk they couldn't find space for anywhere else in the house. Or they just didn't want anyone to see these antique pieces of shit.

We started rummaging through the boxes. Kicking things aside, trying to find our next victim.

There he was.

We didn't find it in a corner, quivering, but rather... it attacked. It jumped at Henry, and clung to his face. Before I could even tell what it was, blood sprayed everywhere. I shielded my eyes, trying not to catch the AIDS that Henry had, but when the spray stopped, I looked back, and Henry's head was gone. Just gone. I saw the thing run back towards the bedrooms. It broke through the barriers we had set up, and was gone. It appeared to be some kind of raccoon with wings, and it had bird like feet. Talons. I started to run the other way, I too, breaking through the other barrier. Before the dikes could even ask what had happened, I pulled them off the counter and dragged them out of their apartment behind me.

Once safe, I knew there was no going back in, or I wouldn't be coming back out again. There was only one thing to do. I went to the truck and grabbed the pack of dynamite. I told the dikes to get into the truck and wait for me, as I went back up to the front door. I lit a match on the scruff of my chin, and lit the dynamite. Not just one stick, and whole fuckin' roll. I creaked the door open, and just tossed the package of death into the apartment. Take that you fuckin' demon. I walked away in slow motion as the apartment exploded behind me.

I went back to the dikes in the truck. Don't worry, I gave them a place to stay.

So there it was. The end of a friendship, brought to me by the hands of, what I can only assume to be... Satan himself.

Like Butta

I am a tool.
I am clay. Mold me to your liking.
You all know those stands that pop up in the middle of the mall when Christmas starts getting near. My favorite is the sausage and cheese stand. Tonight, though, I was walking around, trying to justify my being there, other than the fact that I wanted to get an inta-juice from Meg, when this fine looking young lady with a sexy accent pulls me aside and throws one of those heating packs on my neck. Usually, I would've walked past, but I wasn't gonna stop someone from trying to "therapeutically heal" me when I had extra time on my hands. The heating pack wasn't really helping me, though, since I had my sweatshirt on, and was overheating as it was, but I saw that she also had those copper wire head scratchers. Hm... my interest is piqued.

I talk to her about how cool the scratchers are, and she goes, "Yeah, let me show you." I've seen one of them before, but I can never help getting a little turned on when someone uses that thing on me. "And it vibrates too!" She turns it on and it starts shaking my freakin' brain around, but it feels awesome!

Then it starts getting steamy. "Do you have a girl?" (Again, she had the accent and didn't speak english incredibly well.) "No, I don't." "No?" She stops and slowly gives me this smile... kinda creepy, kinda sexy. But then she snaps off the head off the scratcher and she goes "It's also a massager" So she starts massaging my back. "And if you find a girl, this is the best thing to get her excited. You can massage her back, or anything else." Then she starts massaging her knee and thigh. Good lord!

This whole time, I didn't know if she was trying to seduce me or if she really was a crazy foreign chick that didn't know what she was doing in this crazy country.

Needless to say, her sales pitch was well executed, and I ended up walking away with one of the head scratchers, after she gave me a discounted price on it. It's not often you see that kind of commitment to a customer these days, and such tactics have to be rewarded, I say. Well done. I salute you.

Let's try this one more time

Check out my newest experiment in literature. Hope it's not an overload.

Slapshot

Yesterday was a day to remember. I started off going to McDs with my parents for lunch (I never really go there, unless I'm with them). My dad and i have this thing with McDonalds, where we always give fake names. A lot of people do that, but it started when my dad went in, and they couldn't spell Clarence, so he told them his name was Bob. Then the person asks him in all seriousness, "is that with one 'o' or two?". So I always give them the hardest names to spell, so i decided to give them Bartholomew. They failed miserably.

After that i went to work for my mom for a bit. It's hard to say no when they offer you $15 an hour for pulling stickers off one tampon-looking syringe, and putting on another. Easiest $50 i ever made. Besides maybe last night.

My boos hooked me up to go to the Eagles game to go on the ice at the intermission for entertainment. Free game, seats by the glass (and right next to the Eagles dancers), and getting paid to fuck around on the ice... no way. It was awesomely fun, as you can imagine.

American History: F

They say you should walk a mile in other people's shoes before you judge them and whatnot, and i agree now. It's tough being a skinhead. You definitely get different looks and reactions from people than you did before. Just having people look away as you pass or having them give you the evil eye is enough.

But fuck them. They don't know what it feels like when the wind hits your liberated scalp. It's amazing. Everyone try it out.

Suck it, Meg

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?

Krazy Kourt Kase (Kapers)

After having a good night at the Sundance, the only thing i had to look forward to was my court case for my speeding ticket in Boulder at 8 in the morning. I could either a) Get 4 hours of sleep or b) Stay up all night at Johnson's Corner. Even though 5 hours alone at Johnson's Corner in the dead of night isn't extremely fun, neither is getting up with your eyes burning through your fucking skull. So i went to JC. Armed with some books and some drawing paper, i made it through the night on 7 cups of coffee and some biscuits and gravy. I read half a book and just colored a lot using their crayons, but it ended up being a lot harder than i thought it might.

So after that, i got out of there and went to my court case. Here's how it went:

I show up and the girl working there is smokin' hot. I flirt with her some, and then she tells me that the city attorney can only reduce the point sentence, and the judge can only reduce the fine. Ridiculous. So i get into court and tell them i want to talk to the city attorney, so i do. She tells me that my record is pretty clean and she can help me out, so i get the points reduced. Then i get back to the judge and she lets me explain shit, but then she goes "with your record, you don't have a lot of room to fight this." So apparently, they had different files or something. But she didn't reduce my fine and i got slapped with a $25 court fee.

As i'm going to pay, i remembered that the judge said that if you fall inside the poverty zone, then you can have your court cost waved. So, i fill out my poverty forms to see if i can save the $25. Then i have to go back in front of the judge and she says "i didn't say that. If you apply for that, then i can just give you a payment extension." Bullshit, whatever. So they said i could have three weeks to pay, but i had the money with me, so i just paid there. I just wanted some money back. Oh well.

It's at this point that i look at the clock and realize my parking meter is probably expired. In fact it was, but luckily they didn't ticket me. I would've flipped a shit brick, ya know?

Label

Product: Deodorant
Warning: For External Use Only

Makes Scents

As we were driving to Sniagrab today, we drove by Jerry's Artarama, where all the homeless people hang out. It's funny because more and more homeless people seem to be wearing Colorado Rockies jackets. Just something to think about.

Damn me and my huge ass.

Looks like we're all doomed.

Today was good. I guess. I was away from home for more than 12 hours, so it seems like i was busy, but i'm not sure if that was the case. Work took up most of the day of course, but afterwards i went to see blood brothers with my fam, and doom with my fam away from fam.

Blood brothers was ok. It's a musical that was showing at the carousel dinner theatre, and while i sorta liked it, i realized after a while that i think i was just more encaptured by one of the actresses breasts than the actual play, which was kinda boring in the end. Halfway through, right after i had my dessert, i felt that i needed a boost to my night. The guys said they were gonna go see doom, so i figured that might be good enough.

The movie was pretty entertaining in the end, which is sometimes all you can expect from a movie that stars the rock and is based off of a video game. Basically what this translates to is the fact that they sacrifice some minor plot points for hardcore fighting. No complaints, really. Also, the first person fighting sequence was pretty cool, and for the first time in my movie watching career made me want to put my hands together into a gun and shoot at the screen. Keep in mind that i never saw spy kids 3-d, though. And, once again, the girl in the movie was pretty damn hot.

Oh, lordy lordy.

Duhuh

I wish I could remember more of my childhood, but of course, it's pretty tough to remember all the stuff that happened when your brain is still a little squishy... almost gak-like. The reason is, when you grow up, you spend tons of money on booze and drugs, trying to alter your consciousness, but back then, you never were really sure what was going on anyways, so everything always seemed a little bit fucked up.

Tonight at work, little kids were hanging all over me, literally. One girl even took my pinkie in one hand and my thumb in the other, and tried pulling them apart like taffy. I hate that one. But one kid kept running at me, so i'd keep putting my hand out on his head to stop him. It worked really well, and one time he tried it, and i moved my hand. I thought the kid could see me move my hand, and he had plenty of time to stop, but he just kept running with his head down, and happened to crash his head straight into the fooseball table. I didn't even plan it. He gave me the "what the fuck?" look that kids give you, and looked like he was gonna cry, but then he just started laughing and ran at me again.

No hard feelings i guess.

Doin' Time

I love concerts. You just can't keep me away from them. It feels so good to get away from work and school for a night and just escape for a couple hours. Tonight I went with Sara and Amy to see the Appleseed Cast down in Denver, and i gotta say, it was a sweet show. For the dollar, it was probably one of the best shows i've seen, next to maybe better than ezra.

And, the people you see are so interesting. There was a girl with the most armpit hair i've ever seen on a female outside of the EU, and with her was this guy in a trenchcoat and a nose like a witch's, but they were just dancing around, having a good time, so i liked them.

I think the best part of the night was when Sara and Amy walk by a store and go "yay, a halloween store!" and they run inside. Meanwhile, i'm standing outside looking at the sign which says "gothic, BDSM, leather and"... well, it was a bondage store. I just laughed at the girls, then walked in for a spell to see some of the crazy kinky shit, but then we were out of there. But once those girls found out, the looks of surprise on their faces was priceless.

Weird part of denver, i'd say.

Doin' Miagi Proud

Yesterday -- I was at the Japanese restaurant Jeju with my ma and my sister when a bee flew into my teriyaki bowl. I didn't think a minute, i just reached in, and i freakin snatched it out with my chopsticks. It was so Karate Kid.

Also, at work i sprayed a 34 shoe line. That's a record for me.

Boy Howdy!

It's amazing how sometimes you can find excitment when you least expect it. Or humor at least. It started out tonight when i went to hang out with Amy at mugs. She was studying and i was reading a book, just trying to let her do her thang, and she looks out the window and she goes "he is really drunk!" I spin around and look out the window and i see this guy stumble up to his car, which was right by where we were sitting. He leaned up against the car and reached into his pocket. We assumed he was gonna find his keys, but he starts pulling out handfuls of peanuts and throwing them everywhere. And when we thought he couldn't possibly fit more peanuts in his pocket, he found more. I don't know it was crazy.

But then he turns around and starts trying to open the car door. It was locked so he starts yanking on the thing to the point where we thought it would break. He started looking around in his pockets again so Amy and i looked at each other and said "should we help him so he doesn't drive home?" "I guess" So I get up and walk outside and i say
"Hey bro, what's up?"
"Fuck you!"
"I'm just trying to help, it looked like you were having some trouble there."
He puts his head down..."Yeah... I love you"
Then he slaps me. Not real hard, but a drunk slap, with the limp wrist and all.

Oh yeah, just to give you an idea of just how drunk this guy was right about now, when i asked him what year he was in school, he said "british". Dead serious.

So i was just kinda laughing, but starting to wonder if this dude was worth the time.
Amy comes outside then with some water and she offers it to the dude. He takes a cup and drinks about half of it... he holds it for a while while (that was weird) we talk and then he just splashes me with all of it. Jackass. I wasn't gonna fight him or get mad cause there's no point in doing that with drunk people, when you're not in the same state of mind.

So i end up getting his phone from him and calling the first person on his recently called list, and it turns out she lives at ram's pointe, in building twelve, where kim and my friend katie live.

Coincidence? Yeah.

She says she'll come get him and i go back to talk to him and he falls over the car and hits his face on the ground and busts up his eyebrow. It's bleeding kinda good, but he keeps wiping it off on his shirt, so i can't tell just how much it's flowing. Anyways, i keep him talking and conscious until his girlie friends get there, and they take him off, and i think i'm done for the night.

No! About 5 minutes later, these three people walk along the sidewalk by us and stop at the car and start flipping out. Oh shit. I walk out and really look for the first time at what had happened, and there was scratch marks on the driver door panel and the front wheel panel was dented. It wasn't terrible, but it was a new jetta so the girl who owned it was pissed. I hadn't stopped to think that maybe it wasn't that dude's car, but either way, i told her where the guy's friends lived and they could give them his info, so they went and got it and came back to get my phone number in case they needed a witness or whatever.

After that, the people went back out the car and hugged for about 15 minutes. No joke.

Try China

The other night at work, i was cleaning lockers and this girl kept bugging me. I offered her a penny a locker to clean the rest of them, but she said 10 cents, so i said 3 cents, but she still wouldn't take it. So, i finished them myself, and counted all the ones that she would've done, and it turns out that at 3 cents a locker, she would've made $5.70 for maybe 10 or 15 minutes of work. That's pretty much 4 times what i make, and she passed it up because it was so little per locker. Damn kids nowadays aren't business minded.

Imperflections

I hate leaving gum in my pockets when i wash my clothes. WWJD?

It takes my pain away

I was writing my short story for creative writing today and i found something unsettling. My character gets hurt, and i was at a loss of words to describe what he felt, and when i asked MS Word, it couldn't even give me a synonym for PAIN. Weak, but i guess that's why language does such a shitty job of describing everything there is in life.

Mixed feelings

I don't understand why a day can't be all the way good or all the way bad. Well, actually they can be all the way bad, but every time i get a good feeling sometime in my day, it's just shot down by something else. Yesterday was a supreme example.

:) It started out well. It was my first day off in a long time, so i slept well and woke up happy. Also, the promise of a concert that evening had me riding high.

:( I wanted to pick up my paycheck so i'd have some extra cash for the night, and when i go into work, they tell me that i'll have to go to work at 8 in the morning.

:) I cash my check, and head for boulder with a fat wallet.

:( Traffic is a bitch. I'm hungry and running low on gas, so i get there pretty late.

:) We have a smoke break at mitch's and head to the park to play frisbee. It's a nice day, and the lesbians are blooming. Two of them were right over by me. They started giving each other massages and whispering into each others ears. By the end, they're laying on top of each other in the grass. We are completely oblivious to their actions.

:( Traffic's bad again heading to Denver. We don't have time to head to the hookah bar or the Jerusalem Market where i was gonna look for a hookah.

:) We get to the concert and it kicks ass. Kaiser Chiefs, Weezer, Foo Fighters. They were all pretty awesome. There was a lot of highlights, namely Rivers Cuomo playing "Island in the Sun" on a single stage in the back of the Pepsi Center (therefore closer to us), and Davey Grohl playing Everlong solo. It was so soft and touching. Truly moving. I even get a kickass poster for $15 because the line is so short... this poster should fill up a whole wall here... it's that big.

:( After I drop Mitch off back at his dopeshack, i start heading back home, and get pulled over on the hershey highway... no, foothills parkway. This stupid thing is a two lane (each way) divided highway and the speed limit is 45. I get clocked at 59 and i get slapped with a $100, 4 point ticket. No doubt my points are running low, but i'm more pissed about the 1/3 of my new paycheck that they just hoarked from me. Fuckers. I'll probably head down to fight it. Give it a try, do something different, and we'll see what happens.

:) Get Johnson's Corner on the way home, and have a good 5 hours of sleep. ZZZZzzzzzz

A pound of flesh

You all know the "fist pound" or the "punch it" that has become a standard post-handshake gesture? Where did that come from? It seems like just another thing that people do, but i don't really like it. It can be meaningful and fun if used correctly, but it hardly ever is anymore. Example:

In acting class today, we were assigned a partner to do a scene with. My partner and i talked a bit casually, but we aren't exactly compadres, so when we're leaving we do a slap, which i feel is a sufficient gesture to the preceding events, and i turn my head to go towards my car. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and i see him waiting there with his arm extended out, waiting for a pound. By the time i turned my body back around, he had already put his arm down, and a look of disgust crossed his face. I didn't want to be totally mean, so i offered a pound back at him, which he accepted, but rather regretfully, as it looked by his expression.

Now, my question is: When did the fist pound become mandatory after all handshakes? I think the pound is something that should be discussed first, or should be noticed as a common ground between both individuals, without it actually being verbally acknowledged. Sometimes you can just tell if someone is a pounder. But i always thought of the pound as something that was done between friends, and was used at pre-determined times or situations. It just kind of happens sometimes, and then you just learn to do it those times, but i don't think it should ever be forced. That just leaves both of you in an uncomfortable position.

In conclusion, even with the "pound"s growing popularity, it's future looks blurry with such misuse and misunderstanding in its interpretation...and use. Please, if you would like to save the pound's integrity and keep it from becoming the next "snap" or "back hand followthrough", follow these simple rules:

- Do not punch strangers.
- Always be aware of your exits... you never know when something might go wrong.
- Discuss the punch (it's uses and consequences) with loved ones. Better safe than sorry.

Delay of lame

Yeah, it has been a while since i posted. I've been busy, and, well, lazy. Tonight we had our second flag football game. Check out the link to craigery's blog on the right side of mine for a thorough recap of the game. It was really quite amazing. Also, the broncos rolled over the chiefs, which was awesome. Especially on monday night football, when the broncos usually find a way to get spanked or get screwed out of a win.

On friday of this week, i got work off, so i'm gonna head down to denver for the foo fighters and weezer concert. If you'd like to join in with me to see a kick ass show, and possibly hit up a hookah bar, let me know. And it'd be a free ride to denver and back, which is pretty much as much as the tickets themselves ($40 after asshole tax). So let me know if you have any desire to hit that up.

That's really all for now. Just been grinding it out, getting through everything as it comes. I hope everyone's doing good in school, it sounds like the teachers are starting to lay it on. Good luck with any tests. Laters.

Tear em open

I've had a lot of pent up aggression since starting work, i guess. Maybe not aggression, but nasty name calling. When i come home, i'll always make fun of the guys while they're playing games or whatever, and sometimes i'll just be downright nasty about it. I try to be nice, but i don't get out much anymore. It's quite obvious. The best thing happened tonight though. It was sad, but funny.

In my creative writing class, we're doing peer reviews of short stories, and this one lady told me some stuff about my story which she didn't like, and i thought was totally cool, so i let that slide. Then i got to read her story. Quite frankly, it was bad. I had trouble getting through to the end, and it was only 20 pages long, double spaced. I could've been nice and told her the small things, but the teacher wanted us to be honest and give it to the people straight. So i did. I let loose on this lady. I didn't use swear words, or straight out tell her that it was terrible, but i used more sarcasm than i've ever used in my life; which, if you know me, can be a terrifying thing to think about. So i told her what i thought was wrong with her story, but i practically wrote a whole story just telling her what was wrong with her story.

I was quite impressed, actually, that i pulled it off without just flipping out on the whole thing, but i got through it, and now i feel good. So, unless i have an outlet in the upcoming weeks, i might just go off on someone again, and i'm sorry if it's you. I really try to be a nice guy most of the time.

$2 to Show

Living with 3 other guys is usually pretty laid back and we can manage to keep our laguna beach-like drama to a minimum. Certain occasions arise, though, where our feelings get in the way and cloud our minds. For example, today, Matt brings home a case of his coveted Coca-Cola, which was met with repulsion from myself, for I am a Pepsi man myself. I was mostly raised on coke, and i have many fond memories of coke, mostly because that's what i always had at my grandparents house, and therefore, most major holidays, but in a straight up test, i've always liked pepsi more. Even RC cola delivers to my liking, especially at a discounted price.

So our argument played out shortly, and many names were thrown about, and a tension began to build between the coke and pepsi siders. It seemed that matt was the only one in the house that liked coke more, but we all wanted to give it an equal chance with a taste test. I ran to the store and grabbed 2 liters of coke, pepsi and rc, trying to get a good mix and a good control. All beverages were kept at the same temperature for the same amount of time, and were served without ice, so as to preserve the essence of each beverage. We set up a complicated randomized pouring order, and each of us judged each on smell, taste, feel and overall liking. The results were shocking.

It turns out that every single one of us liked pepsi the most, and coke the least, except for matt, who had pepsi and rc tied for the best. Much was made of the results and matt sat in shock for many minutes after. His humiliation was increased by comments made during the testing such as "god, this is rank... uh gross..." while drinking the coke. However, post-testing, matt outraged about tampering with the drinks, and still claims that he's a coke man, and will continue to purchase said beverage until his dying day. Maybe he didn't say that, but he wouldn't let us take the remaining coke in the fridge and punt it off the balcony, so we just let him be, and let him live in his own dream world; where cokes run free in flowery fields, and people cross to the other side of the street to avoid interaction with pepsi. The pepsi that's really smart, but just never got the opportunities that everyone else did in life. In matt's world, even RC has been stripped of its crown.

*Shudder*

Sightings

If you happened to have driven by college and horsetooth today around noon and then 2 or so, you might've been lucky enough to have seen the infamous Chipper the Chipmunk, dancing and waving to the fans. Kissing babies and taking pictures with good looking girls. Yeah, i saw him too. He's a good friend of mine, and i got to help him out with everything.

Work was a lot of fun today since we had our hurricane relief day at the bowling alley. I'd like to think it was a pretty big success, even though it wasn't quite as busy as i had thought, but there was some big contributors. Also, the live music was pretty sweet. It was basically like working at a rock concert, which has been my day long dream.

Then i went to best buy and bought some cds. Go figure.

Don't start

You know what I don't want to be? I don't want to be that cliche guy who complains about the cliche girl who, like, ALWAYS complains about the cliche girls who don't like things because they're cliche.

Flagguarding = total bullshit

If you haven't already sene or heard, we had our first flag football game last night, and it was incredible. We totally destroyed them in pretty much every way, but.. well, it's leisure league, so in the end that takes it down a notch or two on the coolness scale. The coolness scale, however consists of several thousand notches, so it was still really freakin cool. The season is looking good, and i see only good things in the future for us all. Also, it was refreshing to have the girls get pumped up for the game in their own way, which in the end was much more effective than edward trying to get them pumped up, and them just getting pissed.

On another note, i heard about this in my acting class and thought it was pretty interesting. On friday night this week, they're filming a feature film at the cloverleaf dog tracks out on I-25. He said he couldn't remember who was gonna be in it, but he said they were kind of a big name, and the director had won an oscar for short films or something like that. Either way, i guess they're looking for extras to just be in the crowd or whatever. They don't pay anything, but they might feed you and it might take all night. But you'd get to be in a movie. So if you want to take a night off from partying to try something different, and potentially not fun, get there at 5 PM. I might go if i can get off work, but we'll see.

Laters.

The Bleeding Heart Show

If you haven't already checked out the combined efforts of my roomies and i on craig's blog, check it out. I think it turned out well. But if you have, then I have other shit to talk about here, that is either not fit for our younger news-seeking audience, or is just too early for our next issue.

So I'm sure a lot of you here download music and have heard me talk about the importance of still buying some cds. Yeah, I'll download my fair share every once in a while too, but I gotta talk about quality now. I had a little bit of pocket money on me today so i went to best buy and picked up some cds. When I got home and started listening, they sounded good, but when I got to the 4th song on one, it started skipping some. This is right out of the box on the first play.

Now, I don't mind pitching for some cds, even with the rising prices, but if the quality is going down with it, then i'm just gonna say screw it like everyone else and download more. The sound quality then is normally just as good, at least to a point that i don't care if there is a difference. Do you see where i'm going? Don't cheat the cheaters.

Fun at home

You know what i've never tried? (Note: this post is not titled "the 19-year old virgin") I've never put a book in the oven and heated it up to 451 degrees fahrenheit to see if it will combust like the books say it will. If anyone has done this, or has extra time on their hands and possibly an oven to waste, tell me if it's true.

People, man!

They often say "do you feel like you should've been born at a different time, in a different place?" How bout a different planet, cause this one is fucked. At least i've been seeing more and more signs of impending doom. Let's not even get into the hurricane and bush, or the jewish move from the gaza strip, or anything like that. That's all too hot. Hot hot hot. No touch.

But tonight at work, there is this group, a father, mother and a little daughter. We gave them their lane and got them going, and after a while, they come up and tell us that their bowling balls are stuck at the back. This is a common problem, so we call back and they fix it. The second time this happens, the mother comes up looking furious, and says "our balls are stuck again. I think maybe we should get a few free games because this is ridiculous. we have to wait 10 minutes every time." First, i'm thinking, "you don't have to wait 10 minutes to tell us something's wrong" and secondly, we have no control over the balls in the back. It has to do with oil on the lane and such.

So we had to return the balls for them a few more times during the night and at the end we gave them a nice discount, and we figured they'd go home happy. A couple minutes later, i finally saw them walking out and each of them was carrying a couple stuffed animals from the crane game. I figured they'd just gotten kinda lucky or whatever, but it turns out the door wasn't locked to the game, which we also have no control over, and they'd just hoarked a whole shitload of our fucking stuffed animals. These stuffed animals that this guy gave to his little girl that was there. Try to rip us off if you want, and we'll be nice, but don't give your fucking stolen goods to your 6 year old daughter.

No, but help me find him!

I stepped out the door to go to work today, rounded the corner, and headed at my car when i see two dudes come down the steps of building 6. They're dressed up with collared shirts and ties, so i think they're going to work at the store where they sell washers and dryers and everything... the one that's not sears.

But they're laughing and then they go, "hey, how's it going?" I said good, but that's all i really remember, cause i don't know how i got into a conversation with them, it just kinda happened that after about 20 seconds they were talking about God, and i don't know how i got there. So they yapped and yapped, and i was just watching the people play frisbee and thinking about how i shouldn't be late to work. So a few "joseph smith's" and "the book of nephi"s later, i had the book of mormon in my hand and i was walking towards my car.

I don't know what to do with it. I don't care what religion it is, it's bad to burn sacred books. So if anyone needs to use the book of mormon for their mormon psych class, i got you covered.

Hard news

My blog is composed of what most people would call "light reading", but if i can ever report on happenings that can save lives before it happens, then i guess it makes my life just a little more worth while. So, we all know gas prices are high, but word on the street is that by this weekend it could hit $3.00 to $3.25 or maybe higher. Don't know if it'll get that high that soon, but i'm just passing it on, and hope you do too. The word of the Lord. Go in peace.

We'd all make a face like this...

Kids really do say the damnest things. Today, matt, craig and i took a little trip to best buy because that's what we do, and while we were there i sat down to play one of the games that you can test out. It happened to be ultimate hulk, or something like that, and while you might think it would be stupid, it was almost like the old game rampage, where'd you just run around and destroy stuff; that's it. But while i was playing, this little kid... probably about 4 or 5 comes over and goes "hey mister! whatcha doin?"
"i'm playing hulk, little fella"
"cool! can i play?"
"sure, why not"
So i hand him the controller, and while it was strikingly clear that he'd never played the game before, and maybe never even held a game controller before, this kid runs over and picks up a cop and throws him into the wall, and goes "whoa!"
I'm probably going to hell for introducing him to these things, but he was just too damned cute to deny. So he kept playing a bit, and then gave me the controller again, so i made him laugh a lot by grabbing cop cars or pedestrians, taking them to the top of the highest building i could find, and just chucking them off. Yeah, it's really pretty sick and twisted, but it was fun, and the kid was enjoying it. The game ended for me, though, when he saw the moon on the screen, and told me to grab it. I tried a few times, and then handed him the controller to go at it, and walked off.

MTV News Flash

It's the drop heard 'round the world. Today, the author formerly known as Paul, Carlton Hung, and most recently, "P Sitty" has officially changed his name to just "Sitty".

The man behind the bestselling book "Zen and the Art of Pissing God Off" and clothes company "Pawn Brawn" made the announcment as a precurser to his hosting the "BMAs", which acknowledges the best internet weblog.

"The P was gettin' between me and my writin'," Sitty commented from his bedroom, "This just simplifies things... makes everyone happier."

If you're one of his friends or fans who has already been calling him Sitty, keep doing what you're doing. Sitty says this is nothing as radical as when he made the switch from Paul to Carlton Hung.

"A lot of my peeps on the internet already called me Sitty, but a lot of other niggas just didn't know what to do," explains Sitty. "If I can't change my name every three years without people fuckin' it up, then what's the point in livin'? Dig?"

But that's not all Sitty is changing. "You're gonna see a new air in me, a new swagger. The age of Sitty is gonna be big."

At this years BMAs, Sitty has also gone on to promise $100,000 to the person who can dress the most like a giant panda bear, which he refers to as "the fuckin' fuzziest animal ever." "Imagine a whole theatre full of those bitches. It would be off the hook!" Sitty exclaimed from his homemade throne, composed mostly of balsa wood.

All the final details on the unveiling of Sitty will come to light at the BMAs on September 17th, but in this reporters opinion, don't even tune it, cause this whole thing is absolutely ridiculous.

Break out the champagne!

That's it! I'm done! I got a job! The bowling alley will welcome me into their loving community tomorrow and i'll officially get to wear a chipmunk outfit to advertise family fun bowling. Not really, but i wouldn't complain if i did have to. Man, it was a good day today, though. Acting class was so much fun. We did freakin yoga and hit a paper ball around, among other things. How fucking cool is that? And then in drawing, we just sketched still lifes for an hour and got to leave. Incredible. Sorry for all you people that actually have to work for their credits. Hahahahahaha. Really, though, I'm sorry.

Wouldya look at that?

Today I had an interview at Chipper's Lanes for a job. It went well and everything, and I think I might've gotten the job, at least that's what they were hinting at, but there's still a few more interviewees to go. My favorite part of my interview, though, was when she was telling me about healthcare, and they have a nice package if i wanted to go with that, so i replied "yeah, sure, i'd love to look at your package." Cough Cough. Luckily, the phone rang right after that, so she was distracted, but i think she didn't think anything of it, which is good... obviously. So it went well, and i'll let you all know how it goes when they get back to me.

Hm....

So, what's going on in the world today? Bush is taking time off, Britney Spears is talking about how (thank god) her breasts are getting bigger due to pregnancy, and Lance Armstrong is being questioned about "blood-doping". Good gravy!

The Wake

If you want a head trip, one that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol (but could be enhanced by these), then you should watch Waking Life. I borrowed it from Jen the other day cause i'd heard a lot about it and thought it looked really good, and it blew me away more than anything i've really seen to this point. As if the crazy cartoon-over-live-action visuals weren't enough, the things that they have to say in the movie are mind-changing. Richard Linklater (of dazed and confused) wrote and directed it, and the kid that played mitch in dazed and confused is in it as well, but linklater's work is ridiculous. Check it out if you really have no idea what i'm talking about, and i'm guessing you don't, since i have no idea how to explain it.

Look Up

The weather took a little turn for the worse today. Actually, i love the rain, but it's not really good for my current car situation. I fixed the window the other day, but it's rebroken now, so when i was driving to front range, i had to take the protective shirt down to see out the side window, and all the rain was getting in the car. A lot of it was hitting the door and bouncing in and smacking me in the face with a surprising amount of force too. It was kinda fun, but at the same time, i just want the fucking thing to be fixed.

Tonight was quite an adventure for us all here. The other night, i was using the garbage disposal, and it did it's normal thing, but then it made this huge grinding noise, and shit shot everywhere and then it just stopped working. Tonight we investigated and saw that a spoon had gotten stuck down in there, and we couldn't just pull it out. We tried many different methods, but finally got it out by removing the whole underpants region of the sink and prying it out. The only problem was that we couldn't get it all back together right and now water leaks when we use the left side of the sink. Oh well, maybe now we'll call maintenance.

Today was also good for school. I had my first classes today and they look like they'll actually be a lot of fun. My acting teacher was hilarious, because he was the director of the "clown box" troop that does improv at CSU and he's done a whole bunch of plays and tv and commercials. My creative writing teacher seems to like me too, but since the class is online, i haven't met her yet, but she seems nice enough. It's amazing. In most classes won't even let you eat or drink, but in this one you can masturbate all you want and no one would even care. Amazing i say.

I hope school's going well for everyone else, and have a good first week.

New day

We finally got moved into our apartment. It's wicked sweet. We had to celebrate by getting some corona and coors, and it turned out to be an ok night. I don't know. I had fun at least. We'll have to see what happens when we wake up tomorrow and we finally realize that this is where we're gonna be living for the next year. Then it might not be so cool, but i think we got a pretty sweet set-up. Come by if you're in the area.

Oh boy-ar-dee

Today was funny, and also quite sad. I was helping my dad set up his new ipod because he couldn't figure it out. It's fine that he couldn't get it, but he needs to work on some of his technological lingo. Here was some of my favorite quotes of his from today:

"I think my pod is broken."
"I've got company... what the hell does that mean?" (Like "You've got mail")
"That voice sounds kinda british.. don't you think? Or kinda South African."

Pretty soon, you'll be an old bastard too

I was right earlier. The day was just beginning, and it ended in grand fashion. The concert tonight was amazing. Even the nary talked about Ben Lee rocked his little head off (i'm serious, he was a little dude, ask sara) and Rufus Wainright, while having slower songs, which almost killed me and sara being low on sleep had a lot of finesse. He might owe some of it to the fact that he seemed pretty flamboyantly gay, but his voice is pretty awesome. Then Ben Folds took off. The highlights were:

-The cover of a Dr. Dre song from The Chronic, set to full piano and such.
-The sing alongs where he lets you do a melody part for the song.
-When he played Gracie, which is usually a slow song about his daughter, like he was in a hardcore punk band. It was a cool change up.
-Rufus came back out and did a kickass duet with Ben.

We even got free posters at the end. Score to that.

Also, a funny thing happened today. Twice, people gave me the bird while driving, and i feel i was quite undeserving of both. The first one, i had to merge lanes with a biker and at first i was gonna floor it and get in front of him, but then it looked like he was speeding up, so i slowed down and got behind him. I made a clean move and didn't do anything crazy at all, but he flipped me off. Dead serious. Clean move. I kinda liked getting it from him though, cause he put his arm all the way as high as it would go, and then put his middle finger up as high as it would go, so it looked like he was serious about the signal, but that he could also have fun with it.

The second time, i was taking de tour through thornton cause i-25 was closed off coming back from the concert and i got up into a left turn lane behind this dude. We sat there and waited for the light to turn green, and when it did, we both turned. When we finished turning, the dude in front of me was going hella slow, and he started pumping his breaks, and he put on his turn signal without turning. No sooner had i muttered "fucking dumbass, move out of the fucking way" then he threw his arm out the window and flipped me off. Unbelievable. I got over into the other lane and went past him, and we never spoke of it again. Some people.

Good morning, Mr. Jefferson!

Man, yesterday was great. I started off sitting around and being bored, but then i decided to get out and do something so i cleaned my bike and took it for a ride to budweiser. I got my free pop and pretzels and looked around in the gift shop where i got a kick ass hat for $7, and some darts for the apartment. It was a beautiful day and it felt good to get out. The rest of the afternoon i lounged around and got dinner ready.

After i ate, i went over to mitch's house, then ana and amy's house to hang out and dominate in skip-bo. We drank some wine and had some laughs, and all went home happy. On the way back to mitch's house, however, we took a detour and stole the "welcome to likfe after late fees" posters from out in front of blockbuster, so that should make a nice addition to the apartment next year as well. It was a lot of fun, and even though i went to bed at 4 last night, i woke up at 10:30 this morning, feeling quite refreshed without much of a hangover at all.

I felt so good that i went and cleaned my car. I took out 2.3 pounds of trash from the car, and windexed the windows cause there was dog slobber, and probably people slobber and i think some spilled pop all over them. Then I decided to make a cd holder out of a shirt sleeve that i attached to the center console, and it works pretty well for being stapled together. That's about all for today, but the day is hardly over. Ben Folds is tonight, so i can only imagine that the day will only get better.

Shit or get off the pot

Did you ever have those hostess fruit pies (i prefer apple) especially when you were a kid? I used to get one of those damned things every time i went into the grocery store with my mom. Since that time, i've strictly passed over them, once i was thoroughly convinced by my mom that they were unhealthy for you, but i figured that now that i'm a college kid and can rebel against my parents, i picked one up tonight at 7-11. It was like traveling through time. The taste was the exact same as i remember it, and although it's not the greatest thing, it was a delicious treat. Mmmmm.... Pick one up.

Next, i have a question. Does size matter? I mean more along the lines of electronics and technology. Would you rather have the hummer, or the porsche? Both have their perks and follies. Would you rather have the sleak mp3 player or the big boom box that you carry around on your shoulder? I know it's kinda apples and oranges, but it seems like things are going both ways. We're americans and we're supposed to like the biggest shit, but our electronics keep getting smaller and smaller. If world war 3 started tomorrow; the bigs vs. the smalls, which side would you take?

Lastly, this is just a complaint. My dad got an extremely conservative book today, go figure, but it was called "the top 100 people that are ruining america". Just on the cover it has eminem, al franken, barbara streisand and many other famous liberals. I know it's extremely slanted literature, but come on... To place all of the blame on liberals when they're practically out of power is fuckin outrageous. Especially someone like eminem. "He raps against bush, so he's gonna be the first one to cross the river styx."* Give me a fucking break. I'm not saying either side is totally at fault, but like mitch says "if you can't say anything nice, i'll fucking kill you".**


*Not an actual quote from the book.
** For all legality purposes, i do not at all intend to kill anyone.

Check out those mugs!

It always feels good to get out and about. I really don't spend too much time at home, but i always like going somewhere at night. I tend to not care too much what people think about me, and i still don't, but i decided to give myself my bi-annual haircut tonight cause i was getting pretty shaggy.

I told myself i'd take it to the limit and grow it out till i could fro it or put it in a ponytail like a dirty hippie or something, but the fact of the matter is: it looked like shit. And now, since i cut it, it just looks like less of shit, but i don't have to worry about trying to style it in any manner now.

I'd put up pictures, but i don't want to get out my camera and upload pics onto my computer and whatnot. Same old, you know. But the point is, it feels good to have shorter hair, and it was about fucking time, cause i needed to wash it anyways.

28 minutes later

I was driving home from mitch's house tonight and a scary thing happened. I drove close to 2 and a half miles without seeing a single car. No headlights in the distance, no taillights behind me. This was only 12:30, too. It was straight out of a zombie movie. I was just waiting for the freaking zombie dogs to jump the fence by the side of the road and plow into my car. Even the graffitti on the telephone pole by cheba hut said the zombies were coming, so who was i to disagree? Well, unfortunately, nothing happened, and i got home safe. No having to save the day for me. Oh well.

I can still ride a beer after one bike

This past week has been crazy. Well, it's been boring as shit. The really boring kind of shit too. But i think it's the first time in my life where i've had something alcoholic to drink every day of the week. It wasn't always a lot, but it was there. What a landmark. A short list of the stuff i've had is:
5 Pabst
Corona
5 Mikes
2 Margs
Alcoholic fruit shake
2 Car bombs
Key light

Like i say, some nights it wasn't ever more than one beer, and it was never really a conscious decision like " i gotta keep the streak alive", it was just there. Just thought i'd say, since they've found that it was healthy. You know.. i wanted to tell you all how healthy i'm being. But thanks to everyone who helped contribute, and i'll see if i can maybe calm down and save my energy for the first week back at school.

P.S. Please don't comment telling me how you went 2 weeks without remembering what you did at all because you were so drunk. I know my list is weak, but, well... so is my list of other things to post about.

I PASA

So you may have noticed that the NASA shuttle got back to earth safely, and i'm sure it made news all around the world. It's amazing that they now celebrate that no one died, when just a few years ago they were talking about putting people on Mars. i think they still got a long way to go though. just think about what would've happened if the shuttle hadn't made it back. bad news bears.

Paracraps

If you know me, then you probably know that i have a pretty liberal and open view on music, but there's one thing that's been bugging the hell out of me. Now, some of you might not've heard of these guys yet, but this band called coldplay has been taking the world by storm, but my problem with them is that they just aren't that good. At least not good enough to the enormous hype that's been given to them. I'll try to draw this our in a timeline, without much of a timeframe on it:

• Right after Parachutes came out (i think that's which one it was) i read an interview with chris martin in rolling stone where he said that coldplay was "the best looking band in the world". First, he's ugly as fuck, so i hope that's not what he means, and second of all, they weren't in that good of a position at that time with only 2 or so singles on the air. This was just cocky.
• They came out with A Sudden Rush of Blood to the Head and it had another single, which sounded just like the first single from the other cd. Different lyrics, slightly changed piano parts.
  
• They come out with x&y, which is hyped through the roof. Their new single x&y sounds strangely like clocks. Slightly different tempo, slightly different mood, same basic format.
  
• Everyone asks the question "are they the next u2?" Fuck no. Of course the question is hypothetical at the most, but still insulting considering how little they've accomplished compared to u2.
  

Now, let me say this. I do enjoy some of coldplay's music. They have some good singles, but many of the in between songs sound like regurgitated filler. There's nothing wrong with having songs sound the same, as long as the format is good. Green day did it for years, but even they've evolved past it. If you're gonna be hyped as the biggest band in the world, you have to come up with some really original stuff that blows other people out of the water.

A few years ago, Radiohead was hyped as the best band in the world. I totally agreed at the time. They'd paid their dues, they'd sold the albums, and they'd changed their music and the minds of people. This is always what the great bands do. Otherwise, there really is nothing to set a band like coldplay apart from a band like jimmy eat world. They both put out a few cds and have a few excellent songs that get a lot of play time, but where as i'd rather listen more to jimmy eat world, they've just gotten pushed out of the limelight because they don't have egos as big as their receding hairlines. Yeah, i'm talking to you chris martin.

The bitter taste of da feet

I'm going on 19 and a half now, and i've only been away from my family for one out of those years, yet, they still don't seem to know what i like to eat. I'm not a picky eater for the most part, but lately they've just been hitting all the bad spots. For the last two nights they've made pesto pasta with pesto chicken and then a banana squash and feta cheese caserole with a shit load of onions in it. I love pasta, i love caserole, and i love most kinds of cheese as it is, but i hate every single thing that they put in these things.

Then they cut up tomatoes, cucumber and zucchini for lunch and say that that's lunch right there. I hate all those vegetables, so i got out the corn and peas to make some of my own and my dad says "we already got enough veggies here, don't get more out" and i said "but those suck" and he got really mad. I've been this way my whole life and they act like it's news to them. All this is on top of the fact that my sister buys shit like skim milk, tofu, ice milk ice cream, and all that organic shit, yet they won't let me buy novelties like drumsticks and choco tacos that everyone can enjoy.

I never thought i'd say it, but i really want to get to my apartment so i can get away from these home-cooked meals.

Large fry, motherfucker!

Sara (haha, the first time, i accidentally typed SARS, sorry) you've already heard about this, but i thought it was funny enough to share with everyone else. Check out this site and this site. You may have seen the ad on tv for these new chicken fries at burger king, and this is the site that it tells you to go to. There's so many things that are funny about this:

1. You'll see the band that advertises these so-called "chicken fries" wear large chicken masks over their faces.
2. Their name is CoqRoq.
3. They have already sold out, to none other than burger king.
4. Their music sucks (which is more sad than funny), but even the painfully similar slipknot had some musically redeeming qualities.

These people are certainly not concerned with hurting their image. I'm sure you can come to your own conclusions about what life must be like for them right now, so i won't elaborate, but i think it's a striking portrayal of what drugs can do to an individual. No that's not fair, i don't even know them, but if i did, i figure they'd say something like "cluck cluck bakahh!".

Shake your moneymaker

I was over at Para Setty's place tonight and a commercial came on for girls gone wild. I knew right away that i hadn't seen this one, but i tried to act uninterested. But at the end they have all the additional offers, like "you'll get this free of charge with the order". I wondered what it would be like if they packaged "guys gone wild" with every purchase of girls gone wild. I don't know if it is such a thing, but that would make for some funny shit. Sales would probably go way down, but then there's gonna be the guys that say "i'll just throw that away when it gets here" or even "about fucking time they listened to me!".

Then there's gonna be the poor bastard that forgets to throw it away and has his friends remind him about it when they're over for a party. Man, how embarassing! I think it'd be funny.

Northerncoloradohelpwanteddotcom!?!?

My job search continued today, but i can't say i'm any closer to getting a job. I first went to jax, where they were pretty stringent about everything. They very specifically wanted me to state which position i was applying for, so i wrote "camping/ rock climbing supplies". Fuck if i know if that's a real position. I just want them to pay me and let me do whatever they need to get done.

Then i checked out al's newsstand, and the dude there was nice and helpful, but he said that i'd be really lucky if i got a job there. He said he'd been working there for a couple months, and the next "youngest" person at the place had been working there for 6 years. I guess it's a hot spot, though, where everyone wants to work there, but no one wants to leave.

Then i went to the wright life, and some real fucking burnout said that they didn't have applications, but i could drop off a resume. I happened to have one, so i gave it to him, and he brushed it aside and continued to talk to his friends that came to visit him.

See, i really do try to get jobs, but i can't account for other fucking people. Maybe in these cases it would be best to call back, but everytime i've tried that people just say "yeah, we're working on it..." or "i'll remember that you called", both of which are total bullshit answers. So i'll keep at it i guess, cause i gotta pay the bills and such, but, well... i don't know.

Ball and chain

I think i'm in it for the long haul now. I think i've now been to enough of the frisbee parties with sara, and met enough of the people that i just have to play next year. I don't know if there's any rules that go along with that, but the frisbee people are a very persuasive people that you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of. Nah, they're all nice. And they get naked a lot.... i've now seen that happen at two different parties. Weird.

The Bride of Mothra

I was outside working today and i saw a flying insect that troubled me. I'm still not sure what it is, but maybe you could help. The above picture shows a composite sketch from many eye-witness accounts. My dad said it was either a hummingbird or a baby swallow, but i think he's full of shit. Also, he didn't actually see it, but if you have any clue what this huge freak is, please tell me.

Got the KOL shoeshine!

So last night was the infamous second Kings of Leon concert. We started out the night at the hookah bar, and i won't say what all went down (i wouldn't want to embarass sara), but it was a great start to the night. I walked out of the and almost tripped a couple times just cause my legs felt so light. Then we headed over to the paramount, and i'm kinda surprised we found it cause i was going off of directions that i had read a week in advance, and it's right off of colfax, but we made it there without getting prostituted all over the place, and got inside.

We missed the first band, which i assume was ok, and got to hear the secret machines, who i hadn't heard before, but i was pretty impressed with them. They had a really distinct sound, and got a good beat going, getting me pumped for the kings. Also, their lights show was out of this world, mostly because it looked like some alien ship trying to give us seizures with their strobe lights, but it was still pretty fun to look at.

Then the Kings came on and rocked the house. They actually played a pretty short set, but it was really high energy so we left without feeling cheated. They sounded awesome and got pretty much everyone out of their seats and dancing. Excellent. There's not much more to say about them, except they kicked ass, southern rock style.

Johnson's corner capped off the night. Their renovations made me real skeptical, but i'll just wait and see how it all turns out. The food was excellent as ever, though. And now that i'm typing this, i realized that i forgot i got a cinnamon roll there. Gotta go...

Roll with the punches

So, you've probably noticed that i got a change of skin... inspired by the huge change in weather we've had here. I hope you like it.

Yesterday, some folks came over to my house and we played games and talked and played basketball, and at the end of the night, we began to talk about sex positions. I thought of one after everyone left that i was quite fond of. I don't have the periodic sex chart to check this one against, so i don't know if it's already been taken, so don't try to correct me. But i like to call it: The Locomotive.

The Locomotive

Mood: Playful, Kinky

How to do it: The male sits up at a 90 degree angle with his feet straight out in front of him. The female lays down over his legs or "the tracks" and straddles the guys waist. She backs up until she hits "the guardrail" and well.. they do it. For added effect, the guy can grab the girls waist and move his arms in a circular motion to help the girl.... much like how the wheels on a train move. Note: This move is often criticized for the lack of foreplay, but people with extremely talented feet can often overcome these accusations during the act.

Pros: Fun, versatile, can lead to role playing (you might get to wear a conductors hat), get to make choo-choo noises.

Cons: All the angles might not work out right, and it could derail.

I like this because it leads to all the dirty talk like "Put your log in my fire to keep me going, baby" and "Let's take this thing all the way to Mexico" or whatever you kids say these days.

If someone wants to try it out, tell me how it goes. Be creative, and most of all: HAVE FUN!

A mile

You know how they say you should walk a mile in another person's shoes or whatever? How would it feel to walk as Lance Armstrong, right after the tour de france. Would he take really tall, swooping, awkward steps like he was still pedaling his bike? I'd imagine he'd have to.

Unclean

I hear it said a lot of times that it's weird for people to marry people who are more than a few years younger than them. I've never thought that to be true, especially since my parents are many years apart, but a strange thought occured to me today. It mostly occured to me when i was hanging out with Mitch's young step sister and her friends. One of them kept giving me the kind of sex-eye, and even though i'm sure she didn't really catch on to what she was doing, i realized that it seems that girls much younger than my self seem to have a more natural attraction to me. Of course my attitude towards them is more playful, but you'd still be amazed how many little kids (girls, mostly) have declared their love for me. It's weird and sad.

In conclusion, i am not a pedophile, and i have not arranged any marraiges to young girls, but in the future... you know what i'm getting at. I don't want to sound perverted.

Twister

The problem: I came across an ad in the newspaper about a job that paid $2000 a month, so i checked it out and it turns out that they want me to sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door, basically. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, and i can't see myself really doing that at all so i should by all means walk out the door. But then. Yes, it does pay $2000 a month. Minimum. You can make more on commission, and they give you all sorts of cool shit, like bonuses, dvd players, vacuum cleaners and trips to various locations. And you get promoted after 6 months so you make about $4000 a month. I really don't want to do it, but the money and such is so damn tempting. We'll see.

All aboard

Mitch and I were at the black hills today, doing our normal routine of shooting off fireworks and shooting random shit with my .22. We also saw that the train was around so we went and tried climbing on top of it to no avail, but then saw that one of the doors was sitting there wide open. I half-expected there to be a freakin dark wizard (harry potter got to my brain) or a freakin man eating lion from the circus or some shit to be in there, but it was totally empty, and free for us to run around in. We used this to get on top of the train, but we also found out how to open the other doors, so we realized that we would be quite free to have a party in one of the cars one night if we so wished... assuming people wouldn't be checking the trains late at night. It's kind of an impractical location, and would probably have no place to plug in a stereo or anything, but it would be fun, none the less, to say that we had partied on a train. We'll see if we can set that up.

HP in da house!

Alright, let me make an aside and talk about Harry Potter for a bit here. I just finished reading the book, and i loved it, so i hopped online to see what other reviews said, and most of them said that they were disappointed in the book as it followed too many cliches or the dialogue was bad or too predictable... Fuck... it's a kid's book first of all, and the demographic is still the same, whether or not the series got darker, or more adults are reading it because of the great sales.

But also, i think the series has finally changed, into what i think (and is probably why other people called it cliched and predictable) is more of a comic book series. I won't complain since i love comic books, but the journey that harry embarks on is much the same as in the matrix or the lord of the rings, or even batman and spiderman, and has maybe become a little stale just from being overused in these times.

Shit.. i don't know where i'm going with this... Read the book, i say, if you're interested in it.

Thank you Jack White, for the fiber optic Jesus...

Man, nothing will do it better than Mike's hard can... am i right? People bash it, saying it's a girly drink, but that has enough alcohol to knock you on your ass if you got the means. Tonight i did. It didn't necessarily knock me on my ass but it made me dance... which is just as bad. Then we sang some to an untuned guitar and played chess... this was all after we played some bocce ball and had a barbecue. Yeah, it was a good night. And Mike was there.

It's Divine Inspiration

I think i finally learned what i want to do with my life. Today, i was helping my dad clear out the back yard so we can put in our fire pit, and we had to tear out the old, shitty, infested wood. It was a freakin blast. I mean, give me a hammer (or a 6 foot tamping rod) and i'll go at that shit for hours. I asked my dad if there were any demolition companies in town, and he said that most people start demolition in the military, which: a) didn't answer my question and b) made me think i had to join the military to tear shit apart or blow it up. No, my friends. I believe i will take the different route, and teach myself how to do these things. I'll start a company myself, but it'll probably be destroyed shortly after.

On top of that, i smashed a huge freaking spider with a hammer today, much to the dismay of the spider, i assume.

Camp! Camp-a-lamp!

Yesterday was another not so special day until 7:45 when i got a call saying that some people (caleb, beth and robby) were going camping at 8. I really wanted to go, so i hauled ass over to caleb's house where everyone was meeting, and as usual, everyone else was still about an hour late. It's no problem, i just hang out with caleb and his crazy bb gun-shooting brothers, but it wasn't until about 9 that we left caleb's, and we still had to go to walmart for food before we took off, so it was about 10:30 (at night this all is...) before we got out of town.

We were going to head up to ... vedawoo (or however the hell you spell it) in wyoming, but when that was full, we had to head up to happy jack... which as you all know is right next to the lincoln memorial in wyoming. So we got to the camp site around midnight, started a fire, roasted hot dogs... set up the tent... it was all good.

We had bought some beans, and i had heard that you can cook them directly in the can, so i poked some holes in it for ventilation, and put it on the little grill above the fire. They were doing fine, but when i realized the pocket knife we had didn't really have a way to open the can, we had to re-think. We had a frying pan so we were gonna empty it into there, but the pocket knife wouldn't cut a cross section in the can, and the little can opener on the knife didn't work. Crap. We eventually got around to trying to use our ax to open the can, and it resulted in beany saucy goodness flying everywhere, and it just dented the can in more so we couldn't open it. We ditched that and just had our hot dogs and other stuff, and that was good enough as it was.

When the fire died down, we hopped in the tent and sang songs until about 4, and we all drifted off to sleep.

This morning was slow and tired, but i made a peanut butter, jelly, marshmallow and chocolate burrito (two in fact) which were about the damn yummiest things i've had in a while, so that started the day off right. We packed up and headed home shortly thereafter, and it brought a close to a fairly successful little trip.

Elements

Man, for as boring as tonight started out as, it ended off stupendously. Well, actually, it started with big city, so that was pretty sweet, but then we looked for something to do. All was lost until caleb mentions that the big lebowski is playing at midnight at the local cinema. On a normal day, i wouldn't pay to see the movie when i have it at my house. This was a normal day, but we know enough people that work at cinemark that we all got in free.

Man, this place was crazy. Everyone there was either drunk, high, or slightly stoopid from being tired. I was the last one, but the movie was still awesome. People were jovial to say the least. Right when we walked in, we say "there's some seats" and the guy in front of us says "yeah, here's some seats... here's some popcorn. You want some popcorn? I got whiskey too... you want some whiskey?" We respectfully declined, and sat down. The guy was pretty loud for the first 20 minutes, but then he kinda passed out and other than a few bubbling/gurgling/puking sounds, we didn't hear much from him again. Throughout the movie there was people stumbling out, and i kept catching strong whiffs of weed. As you can imagine, the atmosphere was incindiary, which was perfect for watching one of the funniest movies of the past 100 years.

The Sounds of Silence

I thought I would take a minuet to give you the 411 on what's up (mostly in my musical opinion).

First, in case you've been out and about doing important stuff, you might've missed that the flaming lips released a song that'll be on their next album and the wedding crashers soundtrack. Hit up their website at www.flaminglips.com and go to news and the "mr. ambulance driver audio" if you want to check it out. It has a kick ass driving beat to it, so if you like things like that, then you might also like this, i guess.

Second, I also don't know if you've gotten a hold of the new gorillaz cd, or their old one for that matter, but i would recommend it to anyone. You've probably heard their single "feel good inc." on the radio or elsewhere around town, and that's cause it rocks out hard, and that's just one song off a great album. Pick up the cd if you know what's good for you.

Thirdly, the foo fighters new cd also came out kinda recently. It's two cds, and they're both good. The hard rock one is probably the superior one, but their acoustic stuff is always amazing, so if you're a fan of that, then it will just be some of the same bliss you've been atuned to for years.

This is the shit i've been listening to, and i just wanted to fill you in on the stuff that's been coming out this summer, in case you missed it. In the days of american idol and the return of those damn backstreet boys, you can't be to careful, so check out what's new and keep your ears open.

So, you've just been kancho'd...

Warning: This post will be the bitchiest and whiniest you are likely to see on my site.
(Suggested listening music: "Angels of the Silences" by the Counting Crows)

Getting kicked in the nuts hurts. I talked to Lori today, for the first time in a month and a half. I left her a message, making it sound like i had something urgent to talk about, thinking that she would call back then, and it worked. So she calls and the only reason she wants to talk to me is because i sounded serious. I hate talking to people just cause i haven't heard from them in a while, so why the fuck should she think otherwise? So she says she's in South Carolina with her boyfriend.

I think I mentioned her boyfriend before, which i'm fine with. So i just ask her why she:
a) wasn't there when i went to visit her in l.a.
b) hadn't answered her phone for the past month and a half
c) used a lot more cuss words than she used to

When I ask her about l.a., she says "Well, i ran late at work, and then i didn't think it was worth it."

Fuck that! I spent 12 fucking hours driving down there, waiting for her ass to do whatever it needed to do, and then driving back when i got bored. I'm sorry it was such an inconvenience for you to drive to see me while I was 4 miles away! It's not like I drove halfway across the country and skipped on disneyland just to see you! Fuck it. It makes me feel like taking my phone over to her house and punching her in the face with it.

Hell of a way to end a relationship. From what else was said in the conversation, that's all i can assume it is. I don't care about the romantic relationship that was lost, but when you end a friendship like that, that's fucking low, and that's like getting kicked in the nuts.

4

How bout dem fireworks, huh? City Park had a decent showing this year, and it was fun to see some old faces. The real fun happened after that, though, when we went to edora to hang out and watch kids shoot off fireworks. Everything was well until they decided to wage war upon us, even though we had nothing to fire back. They started with bottle rockets, and there was a few close shots. One went right in between Robby and I and we both had to move to get out of the way of the flaming inferno. We just laughed at the kids, so they started shooting actual fireworks like you might see at city park. They shot past us and exploded not far from our cars, freaking us out a bit, over the possibilities of what could've happened. Then they shot roman candles at us, and they were exploding right by our heads, so we had to duck down and roll down the small hill to avoid getting hit. It was pretty intense, but it was a lot of fun.

The rest of the night was spent talking and dealing drugs. The End.

Levity and Loft

We finally finished that motherfucker down at the kennel. It felt good to get it done, so we celebrated with some beers. Good ones too, from o'dells and new belgium. And i made a hefty sum of money, so that doesn't hurt.

This morning, i went and timed for mitch's bro's swim meet, which was pretty easy. It was cool before i woke up, cause i was sleeping, and i was in a dream sleep, and i dreamt that i was talking with someone, and i said "You wanna go (somewhere)" and then the person said "We can't it's already 6:30 and you have to wake up soon." So i woke up real fast and sat up and looked at my clock and it was exactly 6:30. Exactly. And it was weird cause my alarm was supposed to go off in ten minutes and i hadn't gotten very much sleep, so it was interesting that i was really that into my dreams at all.

Also today, my aunt and uncle got a new dog here so they came down to pick the little shitter up. It was cute, but it was a pain in the ass for the couple hours i had to watch it alone while we were waiting for them to get here. Then they came and went and we watched pulp fiction. Mmmmm.... that was a tasty movie.

A general surgeons warning

The sun is not for everyone, and can cause extreme damage if you're not careful. If you have experienced any of the following side effects, please get a large slurpee at once.
Side effects of the sun may include:
Third degree burns from hot seat belts
Dizziness
Apathy
Lack of motivation
Grumpiness
Diarrhea
Cotton mouth
Death

Consult the nearest 7-11 if you have questions about the life saving powers of the slurpee.

Deep

I was talking to my friend from texas tonight and, you know, we were talking... And i say how some people say i'm anti-social, and she says "when people say i'm anti-social, i just say society is anti-me." She then added an lol or some crap like that, but the point came across. Wow. And then we're talking about church and how i haven't gone in a while, and i said "Yeah, that's one disadvantage to a comfortable bed... you know... eternal damnation." Damn i'm lazy.
But if you haven't felt my bed, come give it a try, ladies.

Pretty soon, you'll be an old bastard too.

Yesterday, i was working at the clinic (and my dad actually warned me about such events) and for close to two hours, there was this old guy and his wife sitting in their car, watching me work. It was creepy as hell, so i went inside to cool off and i saw that my dad was doing a surgery. This cat got hit by a car or something, but a stick of something jabbed it in the side and poked into it. When they started the surgery, they found out the cat was pregnant, and the sticky opject ruptured the uterus and killed one of the babies, but they had to take them all out and sew the cat up and everything.

I had had about enough of that gross shit, so i went up to the front and sat around, when the old man came in. He looked angry at the world and he started yelling at the receptionist patty. It went something like this:

Man: I've been waiting out there for two hours, and you haven't started my dog's (dental)surgery yet.

Patty: Yes, we had an emergency and we've been working on that. We usually do all of our surgeries first, and then we do dental work.

M: Our appointment was at 8:30 and you still haven't gotten this done.

P: The appointment was just for the consultation. Usually, people just leave their pets, and we work on them when we get to them.

M: Well, my wife wanted to be here when you put the dog under.

P: Ok, then it's not our problem that you waited here this long.

M: Well, I didn't think we'd have to wait out there in the hot car for that long while you were on your coffee break out whatever you were doing...

It went something like that. And then when the time came, they just took the dog back, gave it a shot, and it was under in about a minute, and the people left. Fucking retards.

Tidbits

Two days ago, i was sitting there building my dukes of hazzard car with my mom (who had her second foot surgery, so she's just sitting around a lot) when she just comes out with this little gem: "You know my sister Kris... (uh huh) well, did i ever tell you she was adopted?" No, she hadn't. It's not a huge deal, it's just fuckin weird to think of her like that now.

Bring it.

I can't help but bitch about this, but it's getting ridiculous. The other day, my dad woke me up at 7 o'clock again so i could go work at the clinic, without giving me any notice the night before. I was fucking pissed and i wasn't gonna go until my mom started crying cause the family was falling apart or whatever, but she seemed more upset that i wasn't gonna eat the breakfast that she got ready for me. So i went and worked and even worked for the guy that owns the kennel behind the clinic. It's all good, cause it was fun and i'll get paid, but it was still fucking weak sauce that he didn't tell me.

Then, after i was done working yesterday, i was talking to the kennel owner about pay and he said that my dad came over and suggested that he pay me 6.50 or 7 dollars an hour. My dad usually pays 9 or 10, so i don't know why the fuck he had to intervene in the business. I didn't want to be a bitch and ask for more, so i took it. At least that guy's cool, and he at least appreciates the work i do for him.

Then today, my mom had foot surgery. My dad wanted to get me up at 6 to take her in, even though he would already be up and be heading into town. I said something along the lines of "fuck you, she's your wife" and so he took her and i went and picked her up at 9 when she was done. I waited there for a while in the waiting room and then my dad shows up, and he tells me to go home and get the escape so my mom will have more room. So i drive home and see that the garage door was open, which it wasn't before, so i knew that my dad had gone home before he went to the doctor, and didn't get the fucking car himself. So i went back and got my mom, brought her home...

When we get home, i noticed that my mom's foot was bleeding. Fuck. We called the office and they said we'd have to go back. I took her in and it took them an hour to fix that shit, so then we went back. We got home, had lunch and my mom got up to go to the bathroom, and we noticed that she dragged blood all across the floor. My dad did nothing to help clean it up, but he rather kept eating lunch and watched me clean it up. So we had to go back to the clinic and it took an hour and a half to fix it this time, so i got to sit in the waiting room and look at old issues of highlands and do crossword puzzles.

Somehow i found the time to do tons of shit for my mom cause she's pretty immobile, but i got to watch spirited away and the life aquatic, so those made the day almost worth remembering.

I hope someone is having a good summer. I've been hearing a lot of bad stories, so i hope things start looking up if you're feeling glum. Have a good one and always, always keep it real.

Trekkies

Yeah, it's been awhile, and that's why i feel we must cherish our time together. Let's embrace.

Things are just rolling right along. Just going through the little joys that every day offers. The other day we had a rummage sale at my church, so they had all kinds of nifty shit for sale. I got a nice new cork dartboard for 50 fuckin cents. If that's not the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard. I also had to work at a little carnival type booth there where i blew up balloons and manned the duck game for little kids. So basically, i sat on my ass, but it was one of the nicer days we've had so it was pretty enjoyable.

On the same day i believe, some of the crew went to the drive in and saw mr and mrs smith and the longest yard. I was in a hurry to get there so i got pulled over for going 15 over, so i bitchslapped the cop and drove off and hid inside the drive in. While we were there, we tried setting lawn chairs on top of my car, and it was fine on the hood, but when we tried sitting above where the peoples sit, it kinda caved in and knocked my dome light down, so it's dangling from the ceiling, and getting in my way all the time. If people ask me what it is, i tell them it's an air freshener. I think i might try to get a black light or some cool shit to replace them, since they're in a good position to be replaced.

Then today, i kept it real and went to star wars, and then watched some chappelle show amongst other things. So ridiculous. It rained like a mother this morning so you can't blame me for staying in.

I hope everyone is doing well and such. Talk to yous later.