Working hard or hardly working?

Mostly the latter. Today, work was a bit of a joke to me. I showed up to find the doors locked and all the lights off, so i used my key to get in, only to find my coworker hiding behind the door. Boy did he get me... So i punched in and then spent the next half hour locked in an intense rubber band war with him. My boss wasn't there, as you might guess, so we did this for a good 15 mintues. I got him twice in the head, so i declared myself the silent victor. Then i put some papers into envelopes for a while, and then my boss came in. This is the boss who put a bag of cookies in the microwave and started the whole bag on fire. Then sprayed febreeze in there to try to cover up the smell. Now everything you cook smells forresty fresh. That's not a good thing. So my coworker tried microwaving some baking soda to get rid of the smell, but used the wrong kind of plate, so it carcked and we threw it away. I'm anxious to see if we start trying to microwave army men since the microwave is kind of shot now anyways. So after my boss got there, she gave me the choice of taking inventory of apparel, or breaking up crates with a crowbar and a sledge. Now there's a predicament.

So while i'm breaking up the crates, i lift the rotting lid to find a nice little beehive waiting for me. Or one big beehive and about 3 little ones around it rather. What are sledges for huh? So when it comes down to it, i got some anger out. The only problem was i got a splinter in my middle finger (hahaha) and it took me a good fifteen minutes to dig it out, and the cut ended up being about three times as long and twice as deep as it originally was. Maybe i should be a doctor cause i have so much fun digging around in cuts. Maybe i'm weird, but it's interesting as shit to me. Well, the interesting kind of shit. The rest of the day consisted of me not going to class, watching the simpsons, mxc, and eternal sunshine. I'll tell ya what, that's a good movie. In fact, it gives me an idea. The top 5 movies to watch while stoned/drunk/not in your right mind. Note: These will all be movies i've seen and are mostly sitting in front of me, so don't tell me about other movies i missed. Note number 2: I have not actually watched these movies while stoned or drunk, but i can imagine that they would be good ones to watch.

5. Run Lola Run. Pros: This German movie would be a trip mostly because on it's use of cartoons in the middle of scenes and the general quirkiness of story and mood. Cons: The subtitles and three different roads that the character travels may be too much for anyone under the influence to follow.

4. Kill Bill Volume 1. Pros: The over the top blood and violence in this movie would make for some good eye candy, while alcohol would make Uma Thurman seem even hotter! Cons: Some of the back story and slower parts in the movie would lose your attention.

3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Pros: There's humor in this movie, and mixed with some of the trippy scifi parts and crazy flashbacks, it could be a fun watch. Cons: It is a romantic comedy, and therefore has some slow parts.

2. Donnie Darko. Pros: This funny scifi drama has a great story that involves demonic rabbits and time travel, which doesn't always make sense anyways. Cons: It keeps you up all night thinking about it even when you're sober.

1. Super Troopers. Why #1? Damn it's funny. With it's great comic one liners and drug references, it would be a dream of anyone that has no problem getting messed up.

So there it is, take it or leave it, and feel free to argue, and i'll feel free to not listen to complaints.

Buds. 

Zen and the art of pissing God off.

I don't kill people, or do drugs excessively, but this weekend i may have pissed God off without doing much at all (except for the drugs). On Saturday, i went to the mall with Betty and Meg. Meg needed to get some black pants, and Betty wanted to look in Victoria's Secret for some bras. While i was there, i looked at my usual places. The book store where i got some comic books, the candy shop, and the pet shop, but when i went into It's Your Move, i found something that i had been wanting for the longest of times. A Zen Garden. Even though i only had $4.30 in my checking account, and the garden was... more than that, i got it anyways. Enlightenment is more important than good credit. So I get that and bring it back to the dorm where i set the garden up with the pure white sand, the bamboo rakes, and the river rocks that they give you. The garden is about the size of an 8 by 10 picture or an 8 by 10 wooden box, so i realized that my garden was a bit bare. So i went home to get some things to put in my garden. After a long search, i wound up with a large baggie full of mostly Lego men. Now, i love Legos as you may guess, but even they are not the most pure out of all the toys. So now i figure that the Zen and Karma dudes are mad at me for messing up their beautiful gardens, and God is mad at me for trying out other things.

I figure that my wrongs with God and Karma, the God of gardens must be fixed. So i went to church on Sunday, like i do every Sunday. I help out with the little kids during Sunday School, but i don't really like our new pastor, so i usually hang out with the kids some more in the nursery. After bouncing a ball off of the little kids heads for a while, things started to settle down, and i realized that the five hours of sleep i got last night are really kicking my ass. Some of the kids wanted to play dress-up, so they took all the clothes out of the cabinet, and threw them around, then one of the crawled into the cabinet on the top shelf. Then one of them said "Lay down in there, (my name)". Then the other helper said "I don't think he can fit in there." Now dammit, i'm a man, and we don't take that kind of crap sitting down. So i laid down... in the cabinet on the bottom shelf, and they shut the doors. Geez, i had plenty of freakin room, what the hell was she thinking? It was actually quite comfortable, and since my church is small and one person can man the nursery alone, i figured the girl i was working with could handle it, so i grabbed a doll as a pillow and took a nap in the cabinet. When i awoke, church was almost over and the kids were trying to put the clothes back into the cabinet where i was, so i figured i should probably get up then. Man, sleeping through church. Everyone does it, but not in the nursery cabinet. God should be smiting my ass pretty bad right now.

So anyways, they aren't big problems, and God is a forgiving God, and Karma has probably seen worse looking gardens, so i figure i'm ok here. Either way, i'll try to leave all Lego characters and sand art in my garden as tasteful as i can, and i'll try not to listen to 5 year olds in my nursery.

Get Ready to Ramble

So i got quite the wake up call this morning. I'm a bit tired from a bit of a restless night of sleep, but i head down to the other hall for breakfast. While i'm there i get some bacon and hashbrowns, and a glass of chocolate milk, and then i decide to make some waffles. I set the tray down next to the machine, then i put the batter in, and then close the thing, but i forget to set the timer, so after a few mintues i figure it's good enough, so i open it up and look at my waffle. It's a beautiful crispy gold on the outside, but when i try to pick it up, it breaks in the middle. "Piece of shit" i tell the waffles. So i grab the tongs and start poking at the damn things, but then the freakin machine tips over and knocks over all the shit on my tray onto the floor. A bit of it got on a girl that was passing by, so i felt really bad, but i was too tired to care too much. So then i just went and got some captain crunch and orange juice, and stayed the hell away from the waffle machine.

After i got the breakfast under control and into my belly, i went to work, and then went to class. This can be a wicked combination. By the time i get to class, i don't even try to take notes. Most of the time i don't even take a pen and paper to class, so i just take a nap. Today was a bit weird though. I fell asleep in the position that i call "The Philosopher", which is me resting my forehead dircetly on top of my closed knuckles. It's not the most beautiful pose since i of course wake up with four huge streaks down my forehead, but it's comfortable enough. So when i wake up, the girl sitting next to me is leaning her camera phone over into my face, and she's getting ready to take a picture, so i snap my head up and look at her. She pulls the phone back and acts like she was just playing games on them. Very clever, but even while i'm still clearing the shit out of my tired eyes, i can see right through their lies. Nay, i could see through their souls. But anyways, i strike up a conversation with them. They ask me why i don't bring a notebook to class, and i say "cause i don't take notes". Then they ask why i got there just to sleep, and i say "cause this is the only place that i can get any sleep". It's kind of true, whenever i come to the dorms to take a nap, i end up playing games with the kids from my hall, or watching nick toons. Except for that damn "Splat!" they have on there now. It's all so commercial. Damn them.

Tonight i went to my high schools football game, which was against our crosstown rivals. I always said i wouldn't go back to their games, but whatever. I saw people that i didn't even knew knew me. Especially one girl. I'd seen her before, but i don't really even remember her name, but she seemed incredibly happy to see me. Makes me feel somewhat of an ass, don't it? But she's hot, so maybe i should've talked to her more. Hey, i'm a college kid now. There was some other girls that kept giving me the ol up and down with their eyes. Just checking out the bod. Our team won too.

So goes number 3.

Let's go get Lit.

So i've made the step from rookie to a... second time rookie. The first one wasn't so bad. In fact this is kind of what i've been looking for. My classes suck ass and i just have a bunch of reading to do, and no actual work. I like to write, so this is kind of giving me my fix for interesting stuff to do. That's right, i shoot this stuff right into my blood system. However if you're looking for a more natural high than this, Colorado is the place to do it. And i hear the organic highs are some of the best in the nation too. Let's kick this off with a good talk about literature.
As you may have seen in my profile, i read "anything that's short". Not that i can't read a thousand page book, and especially after that last Harry Potter, damn. But basically, my attention span is short enough that anything over 300 pages or so can be too much for me, just because i get bored with it, or somehow forget how captivated i was in it. Today, however, i did see a kid in the lunchroom reading a Terry Pratchett book. Now, Terry Pratchett was a man that i read about in a magazine. I believe it was People to be more specific. Yeah i read People. And yeah, i do the crossword puzzles. So after seeing an article about Terry Pratchett, which i didn't read as it looked longer than one of my posts, i decided to check him out. I use this same technique for music and movies too. I call it homework (a phrase which my bro applied to the situation), and it's my favorite kind of homework to do. I suggest everyone does it. Just go to the store and grab a cd which you've heard about, and buy it. Then listen to it with an open mind a few times.
Terry Pratchett's books are about a place called Discworld, which is a disc where people live, and it plays out much like other fantasy novels, but has a lot of good humor and colorful characters. It may sound kind of dumb, and the guy is a bit of a nerd from what i can tell, but he writes really well. So, i suggest to all you out there reading this to maybe go out and do a little research on him.

Part 2:
I went to the gym (gime, what the hell is a gime?) tonight, and ran around on the treadmills a bit. The resemblance of the treadmill to the futuristic treadmill in the Jetsons was uncanny. Luckily i didn't fall off like George always does. The only problem with it was it was about half the length of a normal treadmill, so i was always fearful of just stepping off the back. But, as my reader will be happy to hear, i'm ok.

Part 3:
So I also went to EPIC tonight for broomball, hockey with 50 people and 1/50th the speed. But it was fun. I fell on my ass once and on my knees once, and i got the crap hacked out of my toes more than once. Oh yeah, you also wear shoes on the ice instead skates. But for every time i fell on my ass, i also scored a goal. It was pretty kick ass, especially since i got a high five. Just one makes it worth it. However it was very interesting because we had 6 bloody noses on the ice, and you had to sign a liability waiver when you went in, just incase you got more than a bloody nose.

So concludes another day.

Really, baby, it's my first time.

So this is my first blog, and i must say, it's pretty freakin nifty. I'm gonna get addicted and i'll be blogging my friggin ass off soon. That is if my time isn't occupied too much with Family Guy and, well, you know, sitting around while skipping class. So yeah, that's what my life is right now. That and working. My boss is getting awfully irritable these days, and she's laid off a gay guy (though not because he was gay), and some other people that worked probably twice as hard as me, however, i get to work in the basement away from the prying eyes of my boss(es). So, i don't know how i'm still around, but it's filling my wallet, so why look into it too much, right? I spend most of my money on music and movies nowadays. My music collection is getting very respectable. Especially thanks to the new Green Day cd. Good freakin stuff.

That's my next subject to talk about. Rock and roll. So, it's very debatable that Led Zeppelin was the greatest rock band of all time, which i agree with, but can they ever really be overtaken? So as far as a complete band goes, Led Zeppelin is the tops. Each band member was one of the best musicians at their respectable postitions at that time or any, but this is more about today's music. The way that music is going, in the future, either the masses will be too spread out between the genres for any one band to gain enough popularity, or the rock and roll genre may just die out completely, which would be bad, but could happen with some of the generic crap coming out. Don't get me wrong, some new music is ok, but most of it... sucks. Enough said. And country music. The music today is just trying to evolve into rock and roll, by throwing in random swears and trying to add some electric guitar to the songs, but i say, if you're gonna play rock and roll, play freakin rock and roll. I don't hate the music in country music as much as i hate the musicians.

So, now i find myself sitting here by myself at 1 in the morning, and start to ponder the wonders and mysteries of life. Shit, this always happens. It's crazy to think about, so i won't.

I kinda need a girlfriend, or something, (meg is gonna laugh at me) but i just ended a long relationship with a girl, and it basically ended with her going off to basic training for the Marines. What i miss most isn't her as much as just someone to talk to all the time, but luckily i've found some kids here that i get to talk with a lot. And yeah, there's all the other perks of a girlfriend. It also sucks that i can't talk to her, and whenever i write her a letter, she can only write back a couple sentences. I think it's bullshit and i don't support the war and all the shit at all, but i do support the troops, and i feel bad that that's what she thinks she has to do.
Yeah, there's politics, but i don't really want to go there. I don't like Bush, and that's all i'll say for now. maybe another time.
Anywho, it's getting late here, and i got early class. And the jerkass below me is pounding on his ceiling. I'm sitting in my chair. Geezes. Whatever, he's probably a bit irritable from a night of drinking or raping girls, or guys. Who knows. Goodnight readers (probably just meg).