Zen and the art of pissing God off.

I don't kill people, or do drugs excessively, but this weekend i may have pissed God off without doing much at all (except for the drugs). On Saturday, i went to the mall with Betty and Meg. Meg needed to get some black pants, and Betty wanted to look in Victoria's Secret for some bras. While i was there, i looked at my usual places. The book store where i got some comic books, the candy shop, and the pet shop, but when i went into It's Your Move, i found something that i had been wanting for the longest of times. A Zen Garden. Even though i only had $4.30 in my checking account, and the garden was... more than that, i got it anyways. Enlightenment is more important than good credit. So I get that and bring it back to the dorm where i set the garden up with the pure white sand, the bamboo rakes, and the river rocks that they give you. The garden is about the size of an 8 by 10 picture or an 8 by 10 wooden box, so i realized that my garden was a bit bare. So i went home to get some things to put in my garden. After a long search, i wound up with a large baggie full of mostly Lego men. Now, i love Legos as you may guess, but even they are not the most pure out of all the toys. So now i figure that the Zen and Karma dudes are mad at me for messing up their beautiful gardens, and God is mad at me for trying out other things.

I figure that my wrongs with God and Karma, the God of gardens must be fixed. So i went to church on Sunday, like i do every Sunday. I help out with the little kids during Sunday School, but i don't really like our new pastor, so i usually hang out with the kids some more in the nursery. After bouncing a ball off of the little kids heads for a while, things started to settle down, and i realized that the five hours of sleep i got last night are really kicking my ass. Some of the kids wanted to play dress-up, so they took all the clothes out of the cabinet, and threw them around, then one of the crawled into the cabinet on the top shelf. Then one of them said "Lay down in there, (my name)". Then the other helper said "I don't think he can fit in there." Now dammit, i'm a man, and we don't take that kind of crap sitting down. So i laid down... in the cabinet on the bottom shelf, and they shut the doors. Geez, i had plenty of freakin room, what the hell was she thinking? It was actually quite comfortable, and since my church is small and one person can man the nursery alone, i figured the girl i was working with could handle it, so i grabbed a doll as a pillow and took a nap in the cabinet. When i awoke, church was almost over and the kids were trying to put the clothes back into the cabinet where i was, so i figured i should probably get up then. Man, sleeping through church. Everyone does it, but not in the nursery cabinet. God should be smiting my ass pretty bad right now.

So anyways, they aren't big problems, and God is a forgiving God, and Karma has probably seen worse looking gardens, so i figure i'm ok here. Either way, i'll try to leave all Lego characters and sand art in my garden as tasteful as i can, and i'll try not to listen to 5 year olds in my nursery.