Paul demands respect

No, not me really, but yes, i do. I demand repsect for Paul. Just not me Paul. Paul Reubens. You know, PeeWee Herman. Tonight i watched PeeWee for the first time in a long time, and i wonder how some of my friends refuse to watch the movie with me, namely, Sara, i think it was. I don't think you can deny PeeWees childish charm if you've seen the movie. If you can watch him dance up on that bar in front of the bikers or, watch him ride through the billboard on a motorcycle soon after that, or watch the mexicans say "adobe" without at least cracking a smile, then the child inside of you is dead. The stupid humor that's present in this movie is what so often goes missing in some of the gross teen comedies, which thankfully have died off some themselves, and is somewhat present in movies like Napoleon Dynamite. Thank God for geeks. I think, and hope, the industry will see the success of these kinds of movies and make more mindless humor, yet works for our laughs with originality. Thatsa spicy movie there.

Mechanical Arms: The Silent Killer

Tonight, i saw the single most hilariously bizarre acted of drunken stupidity that i have ever seen in my 18 long years of watching people perform hilariously bizarre acts of drunken stupidity. We were gooning around at our patch of territory in town known as Chipper's Lanes, and we were bowling a few games and having a good time in lane 6. Meanwhile, the goofy bastards (they looked like frat boys and soror girls) down in 1 and 2 were boozing it up and having a gay ol' time in more ways than one. Well, one of the goofy bastards was particularly drunk, and for whatever reason (he probably just sucks at bowling) he took off down the lane and tried sliding into the pins. He slid to a stop a couple feet short, so he got up, ran a bit more, and then slid into them, knocking them over. What a freakin' accomplishment, huh? Well, then, as usually happens when pins are knocked down, the pin clearer comes down right on the kids knees, and wipe up his ass, and push him farther into the dark abyss. Then it tries coming back out, but it gets stuck on his huge ass or something, so his friends had to call the workers over. Everyone in my lane and lane 4 were laughing our asses off and taking pictures, and some of the kids friends took pictures and laughed too, except for his girlfriend, who was crying. So the employees come over, and they basically have to take the machine apart to get the kid out. I can only imagine what that conversation was like on the walk back down the lane.
So, they get back and the lady that worked there was pretty pissed, so she asked them to pay for their beer (of which they had just ordered 2 more pitchers) and she might have asked them to pay for damages of some sorts too, but they didn't feel like doing that, and i think the kid even threatened to sue them because the arm hurt his back. So the lady was kinda pissed, so she went and called the cops. They showed up. She fuzz. She didn't look too happy to be doing that kind of crap, but she got back up from a guy who stood around with his hands on his waist. So the cops just told the people to pay for whatever they were supposed to and leave or they'd arrest them for trespassing. Unfortunately, they started cooperating and did what they said, so i didn't get to see anyone get cuffed. That really would've capped off the night.
Apart from that, i had some mediocre games. And we got Wendy's. OH YEAH!!

I Think I Stunk A Stench

Gather round my readers and i will tell you a tale of great truth and stench.
Today at work, i was doing my usually job, being the company serf (which isn't as much fun as surfing i found out) by stringing chips when something strange and disgusting happened. As i was cut off from the rest of the group, i can only imagine what really happened, but i think i have a pretty good idea... Lucifer, possibly disguised as Chris, the FedEx guy, waltzed in the front door like Chris always does, knowing that we wouldn't think twice about his presence. Then he walked straight into the bathroom and took a dump. I'm not talking about "I think i'll sit on the toilet for a while and see what happens" kind of dump, i'm talking about "I just had the Rio for breakfast, lunch and dinner" kind of dump. Then he flushed the toilet and went about his normal routine.
Meanwhile, i was still downstairs, and it was then that i heard a sound much like a farty and bloated volcano coming from the sink. I don't know how Lucifer's crap could have gotten from the upstairs toilet to the downstairs sink, but let me tell you, within 7 seconds of that noise, i smelled something so foul, i started gagging and i had to leave the room to get some air. When i got a breath, i went back in to investigate, but couldn't stand the stink more than a couple seconds, even while breathing through my shirt. Now let me tell you, this smell smelled something like a mix between... well, crap for one, plus wet dog, burning rubber, and natural gas.
Naturally, i ran away from the smell and found myself upstairs, and since if i just said there was a stinky stink downstairs, everyone wouldn't think it was that bad since it always stinks wherever i go, so i grabbed Kevin and took him downstairs with me. He took one whiff and was running. He said i farted, but i tell you dear readers, such a smell could not be produced be human ass.
Well, i think you get the picture. I never found out what it was, and i moved all my stuff upstairs and kept working, but i may never be able to enter the basement again.

As Illegal Pete was in the Big City, it was clear he was a Chipotle off the ol' block.

After my previous post (which everyone should read since i spent a buttload of my paid time at work working on it) i felt that i should take a step back and do something fun like a top 5 list. If you know anything about burritos, then you'll know from the title that this post is about burritos. With so many burrito places around competing for the collective love of the great city of FORT COLLINS!!!, it's hard to know what to believe, and where you should go to get your burrito fix, so let me give you my top five burrito eateries.

5. Qdoba - Well, Qdoba is lucky there's little more than 5 burrito places in town, otherwise i'd kick it's ass clear off the list. Their ingredients are cold, luke-warm at best, their ingredients are dry and their architecture is bland and uninspired.

4. Illegal Pete's - We don't have an Illegal Pete's in FoCo, but i've been to both of the ones in Boulder and i was unimpressed for all the street cred that it had. I don't know what it was, but Pete's burritos just didn't fit. I couldn't pinpoint any huge problem, except for the fact that everything just didn't come together as one to make a good burrito. In addition, the staff was unaccommodating, and they had unclearly labeled their water, leaving me with a cup of carbonated water. Well, screw that shit. One good thing is that they have a large variety of options, so maybe i just haven't gotten the thing that fits me best.

3. Chipotle - I didn't like Chipotle the first few times i went in there, as i tend to find cilantro in rice to ruin a burrito, but after a ew times, i either got enough stuff in the burrito to where i couldn't taste the cilantro, or i had them mix it up so it was less distinguishable. I like Chipotle because they have a good soft shell taco option in addition to their burritos, and they give college kids a free drink everytime. The atmosphere is also very friendly, and fun. And the statue at the entrance is pretty freakin awesome.

2. La Luz - I first tried La Luz from a recommendation from a friend, while i was in the middle of my obsessive stage with my number one burrito place in town, but went in with an open mind. First off, their menu is extensive, and offer many good combinations for a reasonably low price. They also have sopapillas, or however the hell you spell that, which are always good, and have good breakfast burritos for dirt cheap. The restaurant is locally owned and supports a lot of local artists by even putting up some of their art for sale within the restaurant, and the kooky wall tiles that line some of the walls offer little bits of pointless zen knowledge for the day.

1. Big City - Last year, a riot almost broke out when a writer for our high school newspaper gave Big City a bad review. It was terrible. Big City is a very beloved landmark in this city, and when that kid dissed it, kids were threatening to kick his ass if he didn't take back his remarks. He didn't, and he didn't get his ass kicked, and everything soon blew over. I love Big City though. One of the kids main complaints was that it wasn't a real mexican burrito, but that's exactly what i love about it. It offers options that make your burrito completely your own, and often times it isn't the same old stuff with rice and beans and hot sauce. My favorite burrito there is potato with chicken bay leaf in a jalapeno cheddar tortilla with cheese, ranch and sour cream. It's heaven, but largely breaks the standards that were set down for burritos by the mexican grandparents around the world. Also, the kid's article complained about how messy and greasy everything looked in the kitchen, since it is easily in view from where you order. That may be, but they pass the health code inspections, and aren't afraid to show their true self, where as most restaurants hide their kitchen from the customers. The staff at Big City is also helpful, and will make jokes, and try to get to know you, especially if you're a regular there. They also have an excellent breakfast burrito, but most of all, all of their ingredients are made to perfect, exacting standards everytime, leading to the fact that I HAVE NEVER HAD A BAD BURRITO THERE. It's as simple as that.

So there it is, and don't just go by what i say. Get out there and try them, and form your own opinion.

Huzzah!

A road cone, a german sandwich, and 1000 connected headphones

As i thought might happen, i got a comment about how i should tell the rest of the story about what happened in germany, or austria as it was, to further prove me point about how life can just be such a coincidence. I'll try to do it in more of a story than just telling you to make it more readble. Here it is:

Ever since we had arrived in Austria, we were being quite the little hellians, being the junior highers that we were. (For all you people out there that are confused by the words "junior high", this would be the equivalent of middle school, but the fort collins system splits the freshmen off from the rest of the high school and label them as junior highers to give them one more breath of authority before getting reamed the next year in high school.) By the end, we had flodded a bathroom, broke a light switch, left marks all over the walls from hacking in a hall that was not meant to be hacked in, and... burned a few clothes hangers. But my story starts off with one day when Mitch, Wes, and I were in our room, and were looking to extend our artmaking with some wall art. We searched the room for something that would be easily adhesive to a wall, when i came across a handful of sandwiches that my host family had packed for me. I showed the guys, and at first we were all skeptical, but soon our doubts were overcome, when we noticed the extreme adhesiveness of german butter, of which they had put on a good amount. On my meat sandwich. I in no way wanted to eat the sandwiches, so i sacrificed them for the purpose of art.
Now, we wanted to finda place that would be out of the way if someone like our teacher came into the room, so we set up our canvas as the wall outside, underneath our window. We decoratively arranged the bread, cheese, meat, and some banana peels that we had into a beautiful collage of bad food, and left it for the day as we were going to take a train ride to the salt mines for the day.

We went to the salt mines and came back. They were interesting, but not interesting enough to distract me from this story. So as we were walking back from the train station, i ran across a road cone that was laying rather unpurposefully on the sidewalk, and at first, i walked past it, but then, looked back, and for whatever reason, snatched it up off the sidewalk, and took it home with me. I put in in our room, and then we were off again to go into town. We looked around in the stores and some of the crappy street venders, and (sometime suring this trip, it might not've been on this exact day) i think we each ended up buying a setof headphones, even though we each already had some, but i guess these just looked more interesting. As the day was winding down, we were looking for everyone sowe could head back to the hostel, when one of our friends came gallumphing up to us and said that ms. bieker (our teacher) had found out a bunch of the bad shit that we had done, and was steaming. Not five minutes later, we saw her coming down the street with a rather unwomanly face on, and she dragged us all back to the hostel, but not before she hadus stop at a gas sation to gather any supplies we might need for the rest of the night.

In the gas station, i didn't gather much. A coke, some candy maybe, and some bread and nutella, which we figured could be our dinner for the night. We paid and headed back to the hostel where we weren't allowed to leave for the rest of the night, and we had to write a letter to the managers saying that we were sorry, but that too is another story. So bieker gave us a royal bitching and led us into our room to point out where our art had fallen from the outside wall to the balcony below, much out of our reach if we could not get into the room directly below us, which we couldn't, but she failed to notice, i think, the pieces of sandwich still stuck to the wall, which i think would've made her more upset. So the deal was, we had to clean up the mess before that night, no matter how we had to do it...

Intermission

So that night, we tried many ways to get the food off the balcony below, we tried getting into the room below us, we thought about climbing down from our room, we thought about climbing up from the ground, but neither were really possible as the balcony sat about 15-20 feet from our window and the ground. So we devised a plan, much like when the grinch stole christmas. We took that road cone that i had found, and we took those headphones that we didn't need, and we took that nutella that we had bought for dinner, and we put them all together. We tied the headphones together, which ended up being 5 or 6 pairs, and tied them to the top of the road cone. Now, before i go on, i must clarify. This road cone was not like most american road cones you'd think of, but was shorter with just a thin piece of plastic basically, but the main difference was it had a flat bottom, instead of a big hole, otherwise we'd be screwed. We would've had to use a shoe or something. So we had our long arm of cords, and then we took the cone and smothered the bottom with a coating of nutella, as the stickiness of nutella surpasses even that of german butter. Then, with extreme precision, as if we had done this a thousand times, we lowered the contraption from the window, and when we about 3 feet above the foot we intened to grab, we let go of the slack in the cord, and the cone would drop perfectly on top of the food, allowing us to pull it up for disposal.

We repeated this several times, never missing once, until all the food was gone off the balcony. We took some water and washed off the nutella marks from the wood, gave each other some high fives, and walked away from the scene happier and better men. We still had nowhere to go since we were locked in our rooms, but that night, we had the time of our lives, talking, eating candy, and writing less than apologetic apology letters to the owners of the hostel.

So there you have it you guys. I hope you like it, and i tell you, every bit happened. Thus i give you, the power of coincidence.

Signing off,
POW

Over the line

Hey you guys. It's been a good long while since i've updated, so i thought i might drop a bit here, even though not a whole hell of a lot has happened. Tonight was a good night though. First, i went sledding with sara and suzanne and some of her friends at epic. It was a lot of fun. Sara's friend mike had some sleds, so we used those mostly, but we also used old broken chunks of other ones that people had left behind. It all worked equally well for the most part. I also had the idea of riding down on an upside down metal picnic table, but it seemed too much work to get it up the hill every time, and it'd probably flip some how and crush us all, so it's just as well, and we still had fun without it.
Then, almost the second i got back, Edward, Matt, Craig, Lindsey, Kim, and .. shit... Angelina i think, went bowling. Damn, that's a lot of fun. We went to what was formerly called monte carlo, but is now owned by chippers lanes, like every other bowling alley in the world it seems now, but it's for the better since it was much cleaner. Now this is where the story gets weird. You know how you have those times in your life when you're like "Huh, if i hadn't done this totally random thing earlier, i wouldn't be in this postion i'm in right now". You probably have, but somehow, those random things work out for the better for me. So tonight, there was this crazy pac-man game that had absolutely nothing to do with pac-man, kind of like a crane game/25 cent egg vending machine game, and so i tried it out. The first few times i was unsuccessful, but i knew i had to keep at it, just for pride, even though the prizes were shitty. In the end, i won, and guess what? I got a wristband. Basass. It actually went with my clothes quite well. So then we started bowling, and the balls sucked the balls balls. There was barely upward of 1 different size of finger holes (i estimated 2), and they fit my fingers, but not my thumb, so i figured i'd have to try to learn how to put spin on it, so i could keep my thumb free. Well, it took a while, but i eventually got it down pretty well, and even got a strike... and got screwed out of one too. But the moral of the story is (or as close as i'll get) was that my wristband actually helped me out a lot when i rolled, because i could rest the ball nicely on it.
A similar such story occured in germany (in the sense that random crap all worked out for the best) but that is too long to explain for now. If you want to hear, leave me a comment about it and maybe i'll write it out. And if you don't give a shit, then i'm sorry.
I hope all is going well for everyone, getting ready for finals (or just going about their normal lives for my older readers out there) and be safe partying once they're over.
P

What else? Thanksgiving!

So Thanksgiving has come and passed and although nothing of any importance at all happened for me, it was good. Relaxing, got some food in my tummy. That's what it's all about though. Since we're supposed to be thankful for something, i have to say that i'm most thankful for my friends. School sucks and i don't see my family much when i'm at school, so it's always my friends that keep my life from going too far down the shitter. So thanks. And also, i had a question, mostly rhetorical, but how many native americans do you think celebrate Thanksgiving? If i were them, i'd be pissed.

I don't try because I don't care.

Sorry about the lack of posts recently. I've been stressed out, being in the middle of a fight with the damn school about registering for classes. And the battle still rages on.
In other news, I've been feeling good recently. The other night we had a small, yet bitchin' dance party in a room downstairs. Myself and 3 girls. It was awesome because we all kinda sucked at dancing, and there was little more than a clock radio CD player to belt out tunes, but it was fun looking like an idiot with all the other people. We left the door open so people kept walking by and all of them declined our invitations to join, but hey, fuck em. Their loss. And if they had, it might've gotten a little crowded in there anyways. And Natalie was there. I catch a vibe from her towards me, but i don't know what to take it for. Maybe it was the alcohol talking through her a few times, and maybe she's just friendlier, and maybe i just need to get laid, but whatever, it gives me someone to shoot for.
Other than the dance party and bout with the advisors, it's been kinda tame, but those have been taking up my time. I'll give you a full report when i'm done with all that shit too. Also, I'm a full page into my book, but it's been stuck there for a while. I'll get back to it.
Have a good one everyone.

If you're gonna spew, spew into this.

You wanna see some messed up stuff? My co-worker showed it to me at work today. If you have a weak stomach, don't go to it. It has terrible pictures of death, and has downloadable videos of the iraq beheadings. However, if you find life crazy, and death somehow beautiful and intruiging, check it out. www.everwonder.com/david/worldofdeath/ Remember though, you've been warned.

Stay the hell out of Nigeria.

At work, we've recently had some tough times online with credit card frauders from Nigeria. I mean, what the shit? We thought this was just an isolated incident when we recieved an order on our online store for ten of the same t-shirts, to ship to south carolina or something, but then we called the guy again and he said he wanted them shipped to Nigeria, where his international store is. We were a bit skeptical, but we didn't want to deny someone their purchase, so we sent it on it's way. Later, we got a call from a lady saying that she got a charge on her card, and she'd never even heard of our company or anything. We later tracked it back to the order that we'd just sent, and tried cancelling it, but it was too late, and it was out of our control then, or something like that. Then we went online and saw all these other people that had problems with orders from Nigeria, and supposedly, millions of dollars of... well, crap have been stolen from the US by Nigeria. Then just yesterday, we got an order for 100 watches to be sent to georgia, i think. Well, we don't even have 100 watches, but where as the t-shirts only cost us about $100, this one would've cost us $3500, so we didn't ship it and called the credit card company, reporting fraud. I feel like i'm on CSI or some shit. The cop that busted so much ass out on the street, that they had to have me solve crimes from my office. I'll be back out there soon though, so watch out Nigerians.
In other news, i think i've finally thought of some ideas for my book, so i'll try to begin writing it shortly. It will probably be more of a collection of small stories, but if there's anything good in there, i'll try to post it or give you guys access.
That's all i got for now. Have a good night.

No Lexus. Infiniti only.

In the movie Three Kings, George Clooney says that the most important thing in life is necessity. Doing whatever is most important to a person at that time. I think that's my problem. Nothing is necessary in my life right now. My life is on cruise control and nothing is special or crappy about it. It's not to have fun, really. That's nice, but there's so many things that i do that bore myself. It's not to find a girlfriend or anything like that. I AM. Shit.

Send George Bush a Pretzel

I was telling myself i wasn't going to write a post about bush, but dammit, i gotta give in. There's so much shit surrounding his term in office, i feel that if nothing else, he should've been voted out of office because he causes unrest in the country. But there are a lot of other reasons why he shouldn't be president. The thing that probably pisses me off the most is the war. It's fine when countries fight each other because there's going to be differences, but the tactics that bush has put into place are unique in their stupidity. He has authorized the use of daisy cutters (the largest non-nuclear bomb) on iraqi cities, and has caused over 10000 civilian casualties, many times the number of american citizens killed on 9/11. But no iraqis were involved in 9/11. Maybe there was a correlation between saddam and osama, but why, then do we declare war on an entire country to go after one man? You may also say that we're fighting terrorists in iraq, but the base of al quida is in afghanistan in case you've forgotten. Speaking of which, once we moved into iraq, afghanistan was basically abandoned by our troops and help, leaving the country a complete shitty mess.
Then, back in iraq, we've caught saddam, which i agree, is great news, but were such large measures needed when a small group of special task force people could've found him just as easily with about 100 times less of a problem. Everyone says that the iraqis want us there. They wanted saddam out of power, but why are we imposing our system onto them? I'd be pissed and fighting back too. Then there's our people that are getting hurt in all of this. Yes, they're volunteers, and they chose to do this, but why are so many people still being sent into a territory that according to geroge bush himself has been controlled, and where fighting has seized? Also, besides the over 1000 deaths, there's close to 20000 injuries from the war. And bush has declined meetings with the families of these people and has told the media to steer away from posting such figures. You may say that people don't want to hear the truth and it would just scare people, but that's what we needed, and now, because since so many people didn't know, bush has been reelected and the same shit will continue on.
That's just the war. And a small part of it at that. I could get into the environment, the deficit, unemployment, religion, abortion and tons more crap, but one alone should be sufficient for now. Of course i won't sway anyone with just this post, but if you want to hear more, drop me a comment. Have a good night everyone.

Nolledge For Dummies

As you know, if you know me or if you've been reading my post, i'm in college. There's many problems i wasn't expecting from college that arose and made my life a bit more difficult, but the biggest thing is the question that everyone asks themselves at this time in their lives: What will i do with my life? To tell you the truth, i have no idea. I'd live in a shit kicker house in a shit kicker town as long as i can pay for my food and have fun with friends along the way. It's not the most glamourous life, but glamour destroys people a lot of times. I also wouldn't mind living the high life either. Yes, very contradictory, but it's true. Everyone likes money and luxury, and me being the lazy ass that i am, could find a nice place to waste a day away in any kind of setting.
Luxury and liesure leads me to the social structure though, and where i lie. If you look at most of the successful people, it seems like they either started out really rich and inherited everything, or they were really poor or abused or something like that and this gave them motivation to better themselves and make their family proud and such. Then if you look at the working class, it seems as though their parents were also from the working class for the most part, and the jobs just recycle down through the generations. Then there's also the poor people that stay poor, which i guess i could also become. But as i look at it, it seems like there's a crisscross of wealth and public exposure that passes over the middle class. So from these assumtions, i, as an unmotivated middle class individual, would be looking at either a normal white collar job, or moving down to the lower class of society, without any real chance of moving up in the world. Unless i do something great.
It seems like it's not as much the education that gets the upper class status, but the ideas. Much like what's stated in Office Space when the guy invents the jump to conclusions mat. It's not the best idea, but that's really what you need to do. If you can find something that just comes to you, and something that everyone else might enjoy, you can start a company or a career from that. Then there's the writers, artists, musicians, directors. Although you can study all these things, it seems like they're just that much better when these things come naturally.
So what i'm getting at is that recently i haven't been going to class as much, and i've just been looking around trying to work on these simple things. It's not the best idea, i know, but i feel that doing one of these things would make me happier in my work, and might get me out of the normal white collar status quo that i may be doomed to follow. I'm not suggesting this to everyone, but all my family members and some of my friends have become skeptical of my learning habits, so i was just trying to lay down some basic ideas that i'm trying to follow through with. Thanks for sticking with me through that long ass post. Good night.

Loving's just better in California

I finally got the book "Scar Tissue" by Anthony Kiedis, and for the past week it's been the only thing that's kept me awake in classes. It's extremely well written for a musician, even though he had help from a real writer, and it gives a very detailed account of his entire life. The most interesting part of it to me is the drugs that he did. Pot, coke, heroin, LSD, just about anything. And it started at a very early age since his dad was a drug dealer, but the part that i liked most out of that was when he was first trying pot and he says this:
"I took a little drag and passed the joint back to him. It went around the table a few times, and soon we were all smiling and laughing and feeling really mellow. And then I realized I was high. I loved the sensation. It felt like medicine to soothe the soul and awaken the senses. There was nothing awkward or scary-- I didn't feel like I had lost control-- in fact, I felt like I was in control."
I think this portrays the positive effects of drugs very well, and is luckily the only part of drugs that i have experienced. I guess what i'm getting at is that people are too uptight on some things. Yeah heroin and drugs like that are incredibly dangerous, but something like marijuana (when used correctly) can have positive effects on a person, much like one might feel while smoking some tobacco products, yet one is socially and legally acceptable, and considered "cool" even, but the other is illegal and totally looked down upon. Hm... worked myself into a corner. I guess, if you see someone smoking a cigarette, tell them to try pot too.
Secondly, you may be wondering about the title of the blog. I'm trying to relate it to all the songs that come out that tell about how great love and sex is in california. Of course most bands come from california, so it makes sense that they'd have experience, but with california love, and californication, and other such songs, it really makes me want to experience this for myself. Especially being from Colorado, i'd be able to go for forever down at sea level. But if there was ever a song called Colorado Love, then everyone would try to come up here and have sex and get winded, and the song would be a terrible failure. Anyways, if i ever get around to writing music, i'll try to make a song for all us high altituders, just cause all my songs will probably be a failure anyways, so what does it matter?
I think that's enough for this post. Have a good one everyone.

The second bird (a beautiful chickadee)(read next post first)

So as for what's going on in my life, it's actually becoming more eventful. Yesterday, i played guinea pig for the psychology department by taking a series of tests about how intelligence is correlated to being able to block out unwanted disturbances in the environment. At the beginning, they asked if i had ADD, and i was going to answer yes just to see what it would do to their results, but decided against it. Either way, they said i did a good job. They made me organize the blocks into the patterns and crap like that, and then gave me a mensa type test, which was kinda fun. All while i was supposed to be at work.
After that i went with Sara to the Urban Challenge, where Verizon gives you some of their top of the line phones and they text message you clues about what kinds of things you need to take pictures of around campus. The winners got $1000, which would kick ass, but as you might guess, we didn't win. However, i got a bandana, a hand hack, a cd, and a hell of a good time out of the deal.
Today was pretty uneventful, but in current world problems, i did hear some news stories that peeked my interest. First, there's speculation that the chinese have captured Osama bin Laden and are negotiating with the U.S. to release him into our custody, i'm guessing sometime right before the election, but they better freakin hurry. With the early voting, such a story might not give bush the boost that he's looking for by holding out and once again leaving the american people out of the loop. The second story was that on 9/11, it wasn't a plane that crashed into the pentagon, but rather a missile that hit it. Supposedly, there's video going around on the internet (you know, that one that is always right), but whether it was a plane or a missile shouldn't matter a whole bunch, except if the people that should've been on the plane are still alive, because it was probably the same group that carried out the attack either way. Just something for you guys to look in to if you're interested. Have a good one, i'm out.

Two birds with two stories.

There's been complaints that my posts about my life are more interesting than the ones where i bitch about stuff, but i feel that bitching about stuff is what i do best, so for every post that i... post, i'll try to write something about what's going on with my life in another post. So first, here's my bitch post. I've talked a bit about literature, but the new problem is costs. I went to Barnes and Noble today to get Scar Tissue, Anthony Keidis' autobiography, but i was disappointed when i saw that it was priced at $25. Yeah it's a new hardcover book, but that's a little ridiculous. America: The Book by the daily show staff was only $15, and i almost considered buying that, especially after i read one of the articles about who the suckiest president was. But the price of books seems to be way too high recently. Maybe it's because we're losing forests or something, but it's probably because of the way the books are made. Many of the books i looked at were either huge hardcover books, or paperback, with shiny lettering or indented print. It looks nice, but i have to wonder what that does to the production costs. Hell, give me a stack of post its with a book written on them and i'd read it all the same.
Another example was the Series of Unfortunate Events books. The book is printed on that paper with the serrated edges to give it the rusty look, but that, in the end will probably keep the book from coming out in paperback, and the $12 price tag is quite steep for a childrens book. Especially if you wanted to read through the books with the movie that's coming out, since the movie covers the first three books, so there's $36 right there just so you can keep up. Given, a child's parents will probably be buying books for them, but it would be discouraging to youngsters who are trying to get into reading to give up all their allowance just for a book that narry breaks 200 short pages.

Soundtrack to the Apocalypse (Slayer not invited)

Since i've gotten my mp3 player, it's been like my new best friend. Today, i was walking to breakfast with some Radiohead Kid A playing, and it was one of those times when the music fit in perfectly with what i was doing. I love that. Then I was wondering, with all those people who think that the world is gonna end in 2006, i wondered, what would be good music for the end of the world? But with those new commercial jets that can reach space, would those be the way to get off the planet? cause who says the whole universe will end, or that God will end it. I guessing bush, on planet earth, with nuclear weapons. but if the corporate jets were up and running, then they could carry people away to where they could live in the space station, until we could start a new civilization on another planet. but who would be on the planes and what would the new planet be like? Would Space Oddity be the planetal anthem? Would the people that start the new planet be important people, or just the first people that got to the planes? And would i care, or would i be dead? How would you like to be known as the person that ended planet Earth, the planet that mankind has been on for hundreds of thousands of years. It would be quite an elite group, but not one that many people would really want to join. So, anyways, there's still over a year until 2006 begins, so we got a bit of waiting, but let's all keep our fingers crossed that we'll be around till 2007, huh?

You gotta be a spirit.

meg and i went to circuit shitty the other day, i was looking for an mp3 player, while meg went around to all the demo computers and put up my blog, hoping to get my name out a bit, but so far no luck on comments, also we had our last football game tonight cause there's no playoffs, pretty crappy, but whatev, but the other team didn't show up, so we played a rec team and we lost to them but it was still fun, but next we have basketball, also i missed the bob dylan concert for the game, and now i'm really regretting it, so dumb, oh my god, if he comes back i have to go, but incubus is coming soon, so......... 20 of them would make 1 bob dylan, so i'd be part way there, but i put some bob dylan on my new mp3 player that i eventually got, so i'm listening to it to make myself feel like i'm there, but maybe i'd have to smoke a couple j's to simulate the experience, so maybe that's how i'll spend the rest of the night, looking for(.... what i have about $5 now,) $5 of pot, yes, i have a job, but i'm already about out, idiota, anywho, i'm gonna grab a bite to eat, so keep it cool and leave me a comment if you like my work, and leave me some money if you want to buy me some pot, gracias.

R.I.P.

Yesterday, my life took a major blow when my favorite hacky sack made it’s final bow. It had been feeling bad for some time, and with the gaping hole in it’s skin ever widening, I felt that it was probably time to pull the plug. Since life is often unfair, the time came early in the morning (about 2 to be more exact), and the only person with me to witness, mourn, and hack with me was Sara, so we took ol’ Stephen McHackensworth (in death, members of project mayhem have a name) out into the parking lot, and hacked with him until all of the sand was out. It was only then, however, that I realized how fine and pure the sand within him was, and he made for a good hack until the final grain fell to the blacktop. My eyes teared up and I cried on Sara’s shoulder, and it was then, in my time of grief, that I realized that Mr. McHackensworth must not stay out of the game forever. So, I have since decided that I would use the leftover sand from my zen garden to fill Stephen with life again, and I would sew him up with threads of love, and birth him back into this world, hopefully in far better shape than when he left. Whether or not this plan will work, we will see. My sewing skills are untested, but I’m guessing they’ll be fairly subpar, and Stephen may end up more like my own Frankenstein. If all else fails, then I may just let life run it’s course and leave him at rest. I’ll always have 2 other hacks anyways.

You spin me right round.

Tonight i was in the car with meg and sara and we got onto the topic of movies, and she said that she had seen A Sharks Tale, but she wondered why they really needed another fish movie. The fact is: they didn't, but that's how the movie industry goes. Especially the cartoons. Look to the past. Antz and a bugs life; shrek and monsters inc.; and now finding nemo and a sharks tale. Pixar and Dreamworks are caught in a perpetual cycle of these themes, and sometimes one is better, and sometimes they're both enjoyable. This pattern, however, is not just in animated pictures. Look back a few years. Saving Private Ryan came out and within months, other such movies like a thin red line were out and trying to not only capitalize off of the success of the former movie, but off of the emotion and excitment in it. Then more recently there's two, the comic book movies and the historical epic movies. The epic movie phase probably started with Gladiator, and is now coming out with Troy, and later this year: Alexander. The problem with these is that they aren't always as caught up in historical accuracy and story and stuff like that as they are to coreograph crazy fight scenes and show off their high profile stars. Then the comic book movies. Spiderman, Hulk, Hellboy, and there's plenty more. The good part of these movies is that they take something that has traditionally been a guilty pleasure for our youth, and bring them to the mainstream for everyone to enjoy. So far there has been no real point to this story, but i'll try to bring it around. I think that while there are good things in these movies, the formulaic attempts at moviemaking that are made in some of these movies get a bit tiresome, and even though these movies are still entertaining, i'd rather have something more original to keep me entertained. That's why i believe indy movies are doing so well right now. In fact, some of the biggest money makers and most oscar nominated movies of the past years have been the ones made by the independent companies rather than the big ones like universal or something like that. Overall, i think that this is a good thing, as many of these movies and indy themes have given a definition to this generation, one which is often a jumble of almost all the other generations from the past couple decades. Sorry about not putting in paragraph breaks. They didn't seem to fit in anywhere.

Al-Quida in Training (Now with 70% less politics)

I just realized the power that i have at my fingertips every day i walk into the office. It started when we were doing ranking for the triathletes, and my co worker mentioned that Ryan Sutter was on there. Ryan Freakin Sutter! It also had his number and other information on him. We gave him a call, but the line was busy. Also, if you want to know, he finished an ironman triathlon in 11 and a half hours. That's damn good in case you were wondering. In an ironman, each person has to swim 2.4 miles, bike 110 miles, and run a full marathon. But if people such as myself can get this much information about some of the greatest celebrities of our time, then what could people that want to do these people harm get a hold of. The thought of such things scares me.
Also, now i'm afraid that doing such things could, by the new drafts of the patriot act, i could be punished by death for being considered a terrorist. I know, it's preposterous, but probably not too far fetched when you consider the wide definition of a terrorist nowadays. And i thought i was just ranking triathletes.

P.S. Trista Rehn is hot.

Sundancing in the streets

I don't have much time. They're almost here. Things have been a bit more high energy recently. I've been all "juiced up" on orange juice and sparkling cidar, and so i've been a bit more hyperactive recently. So, to burn off some of my crazy ass energy, i went to the sundance with my friends. This raises a problem. They play country music there, and they expect you to dance to it. I did ok. I've done some of that crap in the past, so i stuck with it, but it pissed me off when some of the people i was with started to tell me to do crap. So i have 3 rules for people to follow, pertaining to me, when i go dancing with them. 1. Don't tell me when to dance. 2. Don't tell me how to dance. 3. Don't tell me who to dance with. Leave me the fuck alone and i'll get my groove on in my own way. Hell, it's not pretty, but i'm the one that looks like an ass, and you can always look the other way. Also, the thing is, it seems that i'm better at dancing to swing and tango or stuff like that, than doing the shit that is typical of today's dancing. However, i've been told that i can bob my head to the music quite well.
Enough for dancing. I could go off on music more, but that'll be another blog.
All is getting better on the work front. Instead of sitting around in the office doing stupid ass work, i get to a hole out back to make a platform for the dumpster. The only thing this brings up is: i still haven't gotten a raise in the 10 months i've worked there, and now i'm doing manual labor that would pay upward of 12-15 dollars an hour for quality work. Yeah, my work isn't gonna be the best looking thing in the world, but it's for a motherf***ing dumpster. And i've been running the bitch errands for them to my favorite place in the world: Sutherlands. For those of you who don't know Sutherlands, it's like a home depot, but it's more of the lumber and basic stuff.
I think my hate for this store came about when my dad would pull me away from important shit back in high school, such as eating, homework, and even doing other work that he's given me (although i was usually just playing video games), and he'd make me go there to get something stupid like wooden stakes, or string. What bullshit. So now i'm doing the same crap for my boss, but i'm getting paid for it, which is ok i guess.
Man, my concentration is gone. The Chapelle Show will do that shit to you.
That's it, i'm done.

Working hard or hardly working?

Mostly the latter. Today, work was a bit of a joke to me. I showed up to find the doors locked and all the lights off, so i used my key to get in, only to find my coworker hiding behind the door. Boy did he get me... So i punched in and then spent the next half hour locked in an intense rubber band war with him. My boss wasn't there, as you might guess, so we did this for a good 15 mintues. I got him twice in the head, so i declared myself the silent victor. Then i put some papers into envelopes for a while, and then my boss came in. This is the boss who put a bag of cookies in the microwave and started the whole bag on fire. Then sprayed febreeze in there to try to cover up the smell. Now everything you cook smells forresty fresh. That's not a good thing. So my coworker tried microwaving some baking soda to get rid of the smell, but used the wrong kind of plate, so it carcked and we threw it away. I'm anxious to see if we start trying to microwave army men since the microwave is kind of shot now anyways. So after my boss got there, she gave me the choice of taking inventory of apparel, or breaking up crates with a crowbar and a sledge. Now there's a predicament.

So while i'm breaking up the crates, i lift the rotting lid to find a nice little beehive waiting for me. Or one big beehive and about 3 little ones around it rather. What are sledges for huh? So when it comes down to it, i got some anger out. The only problem was i got a splinter in my middle finger (hahaha) and it took me a good fifteen minutes to dig it out, and the cut ended up being about three times as long and twice as deep as it originally was. Maybe i should be a doctor cause i have so much fun digging around in cuts. Maybe i'm weird, but it's interesting as shit to me. Well, the interesting kind of shit. The rest of the day consisted of me not going to class, watching the simpsons, mxc, and eternal sunshine. I'll tell ya what, that's a good movie. In fact, it gives me an idea. The top 5 movies to watch while stoned/drunk/not in your right mind. Note: These will all be movies i've seen and are mostly sitting in front of me, so don't tell me about other movies i missed. Note number 2: I have not actually watched these movies while stoned or drunk, but i can imagine that they would be good ones to watch.

5. Run Lola Run. Pros: This German movie would be a trip mostly because on it's use of cartoons in the middle of scenes and the general quirkiness of story and mood. Cons: The subtitles and three different roads that the character travels may be too much for anyone under the influence to follow.

4. Kill Bill Volume 1. Pros: The over the top blood and violence in this movie would make for some good eye candy, while alcohol would make Uma Thurman seem even hotter! Cons: Some of the back story and slower parts in the movie would lose your attention.

3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Pros: There's humor in this movie, and mixed with some of the trippy scifi parts and crazy flashbacks, it could be a fun watch. Cons: It is a romantic comedy, and therefore has some slow parts.

2. Donnie Darko. Pros: This funny scifi drama has a great story that involves demonic rabbits and time travel, which doesn't always make sense anyways. Cons: It keeps you up all night thinking about it even when you're sober.

1. Super Troopers. Why #1? Damn it's funny. With it's great comic one liners and drug references, it would be a dream of anyone that has no problem getting messed up.

So there it is, take it or leave it, and feel free to argue, and i'll feel free to not listen to complaints.

Buds. 

Zen and the art of pissing God off.

I don't kill people, or do drugs excessively, but this weekend i may have pissed God off without doing much at all (except for the drugs). On Saturday, i went to the mall with Betty and Meg. Meg needed to get some black pants, and Betty wanted to look in Victoria's Secret for some bras. While i was there, i looked at my usual places. The book store where i got some comic books, the candy shop, and the pet shop, but when i went into It's Your Move, i found something that i had been wanting for the longest of times. A Zen Garden. Even though i only had $4.30 in my checking account, and the garden was... more than that, i got it anyways. Enlightenment is more important than good credit. So I get that and bring it back to the dorm where i set the garden up with the pure white sand, the bamboo rakes, and the river rocks that they give you. The garden is about the size of an 8 by 10 picture or an 8 by 10 wooden box, so i realized that my garden was a bit bare. So i went home to get some things to put in my garden. After a long search, i wound up with a large baggie full of mostly Lego men. Now, i love Legos as you may guess, but even they are not the most pure out of all the toys. So now i figure that the Zen and Karma dudes are mad at me for messing up their beautiful gardens, and God is mad at me for trying out other things.

I figure that my wrongs with God and Karma, the God of gardens must be fixed. So i went to church on Sunday, like i do every Sunday. I help out with the little kids during Sunday School, but i don't really like our new pastor, so i usually hang out with the kids some more in the nursery. After bouncing a ball off of the little kids heads for a while, things started to settle down, and i realized that the five hours of sleep i got last night are really kicking my ass. Some of the kids wanted to play dress-up, so they took all the clothes out of the cabinet, and threw them around, then one of the crawled into the cabinet on the top shelf. Then one of them said "Lay down in there, (my name)". Then the other helper said "I don't think he can fit in there." Now dammit, i'm a man, and we don't take that kind of crap sitting down. So i laid down... in the cabinet on the bottom shelf, and they shut the doors. Geez, i had plenty of freakin room, what the hell was she thinking? It was actually quite comfortable, and since my church is small and one person can man the nursery alone, i figured the girl i was working with could handle it, so i grabbed a doll as a pillow and took a nap in the cabinet. When i awoke, church was almost over and the kids were trying to put the clothes back into the cabinet where i was, so i figured i should probably get up then. Man, sleeping through church. Everyone does it, but not in the nursery cabinet. God should be smiting my ass pretty bad right now.

So anyways, they aren't big problems, and God is a forgiving God, and Karma has probably seen worse looking gardens, so i figure i'm ok here. Either way, i'll try to leave all Lego characters and sand art in my garden as tasteful as i can, and i'll try not to listen to 5 year olds in my nursery.

Get Ready to Ramble

So i got quite the wake up call this morning. I'm a bit tired from a bit of a restless night of sleep, but i head down to the other hall for breakfast. While i'm there i get some bacon and hashbrowns, and a glass of chocolate milk, and then i decide to make some waffles. I set the tray down next to the machine, then i put the batter in, and then close the thing, but i forget to set the timer, so after a few mintues i figure it's good enough, so i open it up and look at my waffle. It's a beautiful crispy gold on the outside, but when i try to pick it up, it breaks in the middle. "Piece of shit" i tell the waffles. So i grab the tongs and start poking at the damn things, but then the freakin machine tips over and knocks over all the shit on my tray onto the floor. A bit of it got on a girl that was passing by, so i felt really bad, but i was too tired to care too much. So then i just went and got some captain crunch and orange juice, and stayed the hell away from the waffle machine.

After i got the breakfast under control and into my belly, i went to work, and then went to class. This can be a wicked combination. By the time i get to class, i don't even try to take notes. Most of the time i don't even take a pen and paper to class, so i just take a nap. Today was a bit weird though. I fell asleep in the position that i call "The Philosopher", which is me resting my forehead dircetly on top of my closed knuckles. It's not the most beautiful pose since i of course wake up with four huge streaks down my forehead, but it's comfortable enough. So when i wake up, the girl sitting next to me is leaning her camera phone over into my face, and she's getting ready to take a picture, so i snap my head up and look at her. She pulls the phone back and acts like she was just playing games on them. Very clever, but even while i'm still clearing the shit out of my tired eyes, i can see right through their lies. Nay, i could see through their souls. But anyways, i strike up a conversation with them. They ask me why i don't bring a notebook to class, and i say "cause i don't take notes". Then they ask why i got there just to sleep, and i say "cause this is the only place that i can get any sleep". It's kind of true, whenever i come to the dorms to take a nap, i end up playing games with the kids from my hall, or watching nick toons. Except for that damn "Splat!" they have on there now. It's all so commercial. Damn them.

Tonight i went to my high schools football game, which was against our crosstown rivals. I always said i wouldn't go back to their games, but whatever. I saw people that i didn't even knew knew me. Especially one girl. I'd seen her before, but i don't really even remember her name, but she seemed incredibly happy to see me. Makes me feel somewhat of an ass, don't it? But she's hot, so maybe i should've talked to her more. Hey, i'm a college kid now. There was some other girls that kept giving me the ol up and down with their eyes. Just checking out the bod. Our team won too.

So goes number 3.

Let's go get Lit.

So i've made the step from rookie to a... second time rookie. The first one wasn't so bad. In fact this is kind of what i've been looking for. My classes suck ass and i just have a bunch of reading to do, and no actual work. I like to write, so this is kind of giving me my fix for interesting stuff to do. That's right, i shoot this stuff right into my blood system. However if you're looking for a more natural high than this, Colorado is the place to do it. And i hear the organic highs are some of the best in the nation too. Let's kick this off with a good talk about literature.
As you may have seen in my profile, i read "anything that's short". Not that i can't read a thousand page book, and especially after that last Harry Potter, damn. But basically, my attention span is short enough that anything over 300 pages or so can be too much for me, just because i get bored with it, or somehow forget how captivated i was in it. Today, however, i did see a kid in the lunchroom reading a Terry Pratchett book. Now, Terry Pratchett was a man that i read about in a magazine. I believe it was People to be more specific. Yeah i read People. And yeah, i do the crossword puzzles. So after seeing an article about Terry Pratchett, which i didn't read as it looked longer than one of my posts, i decided to check him out. I use this same technique for music and movies too. I call it homework (a phrase which my bro applied to the situation), and it's my favorite kind of homework to do. I suggest everyone does it. Just go to the store and grab a cd which you've heard about, and buy it. Then listen to it with an open mind a few times.
Terry Pratchett's books are about a place called Discworld, which is a disc where people live, and it plays out much like other fantasy novels, but has a lot of good humor and colorful characters. It may sound kind of dumb, and the guy is a bit of a nerd from what i can tell, but he writes really well. So, i suggest to all you out there reading this to maybe go out and do a little research on him.

Part 2:
I went to the gym (gime, what the hell is a gime?) tonight, and ran around on the treadmills a bit. The resemblance of the treadmill to the futuristic treadmill in the Jetsons was uncanny. Luckily i didn't fall off like George always does. The only problem with it was it was about half the length of a normal treadmill, so i was always fearful of just stepping off the back. But, as my reader will be happy to hear, i'm ok.

Part 3:
So I also went to EPIC tonight for broomball, hockey with 50 people and 1/50th the speed. But it was fun. I fell on my ass once and on my knees once, and i got the crap hacked out of my toes more than once. Oh yeah, you also wear shoes on the ice instead skates. But for every time i fell on my ass, i also scored a goal. It was pretty kick ass, especially since i got a high five. Just one makes it worth it. However it was very interesting because we had 6 bloody noses on the ice, and you had to sign a liability waiver when you went in, just incase you got more than a bloody nose.

So concludes another day.

Really, baby, it's my first time.

So this is my first blog, and i must say, it's pretty freakin nifty. I'm gonna get addicted and i'll be blogging my friggin ass off soon. That is if my time isn't occupied too much with Family Guy and, well, you know, sitting around while skipping class. So yeah, that's what my life is right now. That and working. My boss is getting awfully irritable these days, and she's laid off a gay guy (though not because he was gay), and some other people that worked probably twice as hard as me, however, i get to work in the basement away from the prying eyes of my boss(es). So, i don't know how i'm still around, but it's filling my wallet, so why look into it too much, right? I spend most of my money on music and movies nowadays. My music collection is getting very respectable. Especially thanks to the new Green Day cd. Good freakin stuff.

That's my next subject to talk about. Rock and roll. So, it's very debatable that Led Zeppelin was the greatest rock band of all time, which i agree with, but can they ever really be overtaken? So as far as a complete band goes, Led Zeppelin is the tops. Each band member was one of the best musicians at their respectable postitions at that time or any, but this is more about today's music. The way that music is going, in the future, either the masses will be too spread out between the genres for any one band to gain enough popularity, or the rock and roll genre may just die out completely, which would be bad, but could happen with some of the generic crap coming out. Don't get me wrong, some new music is ok, but most of it... sucks. Enough said. And country music. The music today is just trying to evolve into rock and roll, by throwing in random swears and trying to add some electric guitar to the songs, but i say, if you're gonna play rock and roll, play freakin rock and roll. I don't hate the music in country music as much as i hate the musicians.

So, now i find myself sitting here by myself at 1 in the morning, and start to ponder the wonders and mysteries of life. Shit, this always happens. It's crazy to think about, so i won't.

I kinda need a girlfriend, or something, (meg is gonna laugh at me) but i just ended a long relationship with a girl, and it basically ended with her going off to basic training for the Marines. What i miss most isn't her as much as just someone to talk to all the time, but luckily i've found some kids here that i get to talk with a lot. And yeah, there's all the other perks of a girlfriend. It also sucks that i can't talk to her, and whenever i write her a letter, she can only write back a couple sentences. I think it's bullshit and i don't support the war and all the shit at all, but i do support the troops, and i feel bad that that's what she thinks she has to do.
Yeah, there's politics, but i don't really want to go there. I don't like Bush, and that's all i'll say for now. maybe another time.
Anywho, it's getting late here, and i got early class. And the jerkass below me is pounding on his ceiling. I'm sitting in my chair. Geezes. Whatever, he's probably a bit irritable from a night of drinking or raping girls, or guys. Who knows. Goodnight readers (probably just meg).