Jul 14, 2006

A formal introduction

Thanks for that comment, deep throat. I just realized that i haven't told you all about the people i work with, or the machines i work with. Let's start with the people.

Castleman - He's the crew leader and the manic depressive. He's a good guy but he often leaves us hanging. He's always good for a surprise, though... he's the one that told me not to let my meatloaf.

Cupp - He's the oldest and the most senile of them all. He's the one that mows the grass without the reels running (both literally and metaphorically) and who likes to tell the stories that go nowhere.

Old man Vince - He's not that old, but he's kinda like your grandpa. He's the one that's best suited for shovel support.

Mike Kent - He'll probably find this page by searching for his name on the internet because he's a huge conspiracy theorist. That's why he's up at Red Feather Lakes to begin with, to escape everything. He believes that the government dumps metals from planes to help control the weather and thinks that out of all the missiles that Korea has been launching recently, the US hasn't been able to track any of them. I'm totally neutral on the whole debate, but it's fun to hear his ideas... especially after he's smoked a fatty joint.

Dave - Dave, as i've told many of you, is most closely realted to Boomhower from King of the Hill. That's not a bad thing at all, since he's my favorite character on that show. But he's the only guy i'm living with right now, and he's always good company, and he knows a hell of a lot about grass.

Sean and Tara - Both of these two are younger than i am, and they both came in at the same time, both work together, and both got the same bad ideas from Old Man Vince. They were doomed from the beginning. Sean's a good worker, but Tara can be a bit lazy. She's also afraid of pretty much everything from what i've seen.

Buddy - Buddy doesn't work for the grounds crew because he kept stealing stuff from them. Now he works in the kitchen where he steals beer all day. Then when Dan moved out of our house, Buddy stole all of his 2Pac CDs. I was fine with all this, but now i think he stole a CD case of mine which probably had 50 CDs in it, but everyone just keeps saying that I can't prove it. He can burn them if he wants, but i just want them back.

There's a couple more good guys who i have no real problem with, but are all really nice.

Then there's the equipment. The best part about a job like this is making up nicknames for all the machines you use, and so far i've come up with:

Shit stain - This is my least favorite mower. It bucks a lot, it squeals like a little bitch if you try to do ANYTHING with it but mostly it got it's name because anytime you try to turn it takes out a huge chunk of grass behind you and leaves shitty skidmarks all over the course.

Yoda - It's a little green club car with a silver cab, so it looks like Yoda, but also, when you try to drive it, it's just like Yoda said "Do or do not, there is no try." This thing will take off.

Doctor Oc - Just like in Spiderman 2, this huge mower has long arms with all kinds of hoses shooting out in all directions, and you can almost imagine it grabbing it's way along the ground like the classic villain.

The Patriot - This is the greens mower that i usually use and it has an american flag sticking out of the back from the 4th of july. Not much to the name, but it perfectly balances with the other greens mower...

The Injun - Nothing racial, just a cute play on words. But it kind of fits because either a) the middle rell won't cut, leaving a mohawk in the grass or b) it will "scalp" the fringe because the reels don't always come up fast enough.

That's all of the ones that have deserved a nickname so far, but i think it gives you a nice intro into the world that i live and work in.

2 comments:

Pablo said...

yeah...? i also forgot mike wire. They're just good guys.

Anonymous said...

but they add to the environment